Sister Margie in comment after our conversation on the phone and my resolutions to keep peace in the family

"Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wrote after our conversation, but it didn't post which may have been just as well. I addresssed sisters, asking how they felt about our relationship as sisters, I don't exactly know what you were talking about other than you have written enough to have your friends getting involved and probably trying to understand what is so serious in this sisterly relationship. I expect little from you, Gerry, and you seem to resent that you can't expect more from me. I think we all should be talking about what we need and want from each other. I feel a sense of freedom in that I think its time for us to accept however each of us see and understand our lives, our responsibility to each other, our families, etc.
I was totally exhausted after our conversation. I dragged myself off to the ball game and lightened up. I do not go into analysis about my thinking, if I did I would probably cause more anger and fighting, you can vent on and on and think nothing of it. I am willing to back off from your point of view of parents, early events, on and on, and will start to put my own history together, in fact for some reason I have been blocked in doing that, but if we can declare a truce, live and let live, life can be more pleasurable. If Ann and Linda have any thoughts about sister relationships jump in , volumes have been written, I have tons of written material, we are wasting our time and energy if we are going to fight instead of get our stories told. I will see if this prints,"

My own conclusion is that when sisters have lived such different lives it is best for them to put in writing their opinions to one another where others are reading. That way there is a record of what was said. I stopped writing personal letters to my sisters a long time ago because one on one just did not work any more. I have willingly participated on a family website for must be going on 7 or so years by now which I think is better simply because others are reading and everybody knows what everybody said because it is recorded. This tends to keep discourse civilized, which is a big boon to getting along.
I have made a vow after making this call not to call on the phone to talk about anything that might be emotional in nature and could lead to upset. This was my phone call, but we have a web site and I have urged all sisters to blog publically. I think it is time to put our opinions through the scrutiny of publication. It is too easy to get out of control emotionally one on one, so in the future I intend to spare my sister Margie any phone calls that lead to any subjects disturbing or upsetting. I have also stopped calling any other members of the family who share their abodes with husbands except on rare occasions. That way husbands do not have to be annoyed with too many phone calls of a nature they may not enjoy directed into their living arena. If a family member lives alone, such as my sister Linda, I may call her a little more often, but not to discuss anything that might lead to a fight. My intent is to avoid all possible causes for upset in old age. I think my relatives will agree that this is a good policy for all of us.
It is sometimes hard to tell just what works, especially in old age, when energy must be preserved for what is important. I welcome e-mails but not to fight. I have had to retire from the ring. There is just not much that I can see that is worth fighting about anymore in the family circle, so that is what I have been doing my best to end.
I will write my opinions in blogs and speak them on videos for a cause. Causes only seem important enough to risk upsetting people. People have come to know what my issues are and know that I will be expressing myself on them from time to time.