Friday, January 30, 2009

Caller reports watching a UFO as he is talking to Georgy Noory and Linda Molten Howe Talk Radio

I put this photo of a tornado to get your attention and to wonder if there are events similar in their capacity to stop us in our tracks, make us look up at the heavens, and wonder what is going on? The man who called travels quite a bit in his work but said that he never paid any attention to talk of UFOs until just two or three weeks ago when he saw a craft hovering above the horizon close to to his house as he was coming home from a trip. His wife was over to a relative's so he called her to come and see it which she was able to do. Since then he and other witnesses have seen the craft regularly. Linda who investigates these things wanted to try to go there and see if she could witness it, so George put the caller on hold so his phone number and location could be attained, and she is going to try to fly there tomorrow. This is a live one!
I think this is a very good time for these intelligences to try to make themselves felt as we are all down in the dumps, looking at months of recovery and worry about what has happened to our world. I am wondering if such visible signs that we are not alone are not being done deliberately to get us to thinking about something different, something we have not mastered, and know so little about.
I was riveted to my radio and KFYI for about an hour and then I came in to write this as I could not stand the intensity anymore. I had to share this experience with you as this is the first time I have actually heard a caller say that he and others were watching a sighting at that very moment. That was some exciting.
Others from all over also had such sightings to report that were very similar, crafts with colored lights and one even reported her husband seeing a craft while he was in Siberia during the Vietnam war. He said that he and other soldiers saw a door open and lighted smaller crafts leave the large one, stay gone about an hour, and then come back. She also said that all those who witnessed this sight never talked about the sighting to each other nor reported it to anyone else in authority. He came home and told her, and she called in and reported it for the first time.
Linda said that was a common happening, people not talking about some amazing sighting they had until they actually listened to a show like this one and called in, and Linda says they often say that this was the first time they had ever talked about the sighting to an outside party. Now I am going to go back and listen to a little more before it goes off the air. I drift in and out of sleep so I don't exactly know what hours George Noory keeps, but during the week his show starts at ten. He takes Saturday off, too, and possibly Sunday. I can only handle so much excitement at once so I sort of doze off and then wake up to find him gone. There is so much smog in Phoenix it would take a very penetrating light to get through, but it has happened. Remember the lights of Phoenix?

Congress approves health care for kids and pregnant moms!!

This is the kind of legislation we need to encourage mothers who might otherwise feel an overpowering need to get an abortion to have their children. Obama who is a strong believer in health care is expected to sign the measure. Senator McCain did not vote for it, why I do not know. This is legislation that had been in play once, but was not renewed until now.
I have often thought about how pleased Bush was that he had gotten drug coverage for those on medicare, when I thought it was just as important to help out the poor at the beginning of their lives, instead of spending so much money on the end. I have read that most of the big expenses are incurred by seniors in the final months of a severe illness they cannot possibly recover from.
Today there is another article about hospice representatives lobbying to get more information to the terminally ill about their rights to stop expensive treatments which is not always given to them, with some pressuring them to proceed because of the hospital policy in not stopping treatment almost until death. I know that Pierre was somewhat pressured to have treatment even when his cancer had spread to every part of his body. After thinking it over a few days he was very firm in stopping it, and his primary care doctor expressed admiration for his toughness, and said that that was probably the best decision he could have made, but some are not helped to face that the end is near and are encouraged to believe there is still hope if this treatment and that one is initiated. I am very conscious of how much money some of these treatments cost that are not going to make a difference! Wouldn't it be better to help the young than spend so much money on the old, especially now when there is not enough money to go around and cuts have to be made?

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Democrats taking measures to lower abortion rates

Here is the gist of the action of 3 democrats, including democratic majority leader, Harry Reid, which I will gladly put in my blog, hoping that this could be some of the actions taken to lower unplanned pregnancies in this country resulting in abortions. A friend sent me this link which I was glad to see. By coincidence one of the books I brought home from the library was by Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid from Nevada. I have read half way throught it. It is quite a startling memoir by a man who was raised by a very poor family in Searchlight, Nevada. His father was engaged in hunting for gold when he was a kid.
Here is the link to the petition, which you may want to check out. I have also put the link on my side bar blog list. It is heartening to see that action is being taken by Care 2 to lower abortions. I have rededicated myself to the democratic party and to urging democrats to get involved in lowering abortion rates. Obama spoke of wanting to lower abortion rights and perhaps he will help pass this piece of legislation and get involved in making it a success. Care 2 looks to be a rather involved commitment so I will be holding up on signing that until I have read more.
The link: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/160337824

The Unplanned Pregnancy Prevention Bill
Target: U.S. Congress
Sponsored by: National Partnership for Women & Families

With the goal of moving reproductive rights to the top of the legislative agenda in the 111th Congress, Reps. Diana DeGette, (D-CO) and Louise Slaughter, (D-N.Y), and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), have reintroduced "Prevention First" legislation.

The measure's goals are lofty – to tackle the unacceptably high rate of unplanned pregnancies in the U.S. Currently, half of pregnancies are unintended and half of those end in abortion. The bill would tackle the problem from several angles, by:

* Increasing family planning funding,
* Ending insurance discrimination against women,
* Improving awareness about emergency contraception, and
* Requiring programs to focus on medically accurate sex education.

If we want to reduce the number of abortions in this country, the path is clear – empower women to prevent unintended pregnancies through education and access to contraception. Please sign our petition and urge your elected officials to sign onto this important legislation today!


deadline: Ongoing...
goal: 25,000

22,721
signatures!

Sign Petition

Why do you want legislation that will help reduce unplanned pregnancies in the U.S.?

For more impact and a personal touch,
attach a photo to your signature

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Dear [Senator/Representative]:

I am writing to urge you to co-sponsor the Prevention First Act, which would increase access to family planning services, improve access to comprehensive sex education for teens, and help prevent unintended pregnancies. Affordable access to birth control and reproductive health services improves public health by allowing couples to plan their families and by reducing our nation's staggering rate of unintended pregnancy.

Half of pregnancies in the U.S. are unintended and more than 17 million women need publicly funded contraceptive services and supplies because they are unable to access or purchase them on their own. Between 1994 and 2001, unintended pregnancy among low-income women increased by 29 percent, while it decreased by 20 percent among women with higher incomes.

Please co-sponsor the Prevention First Act, to take a critical step toward addressing the unmet need for family planning services for all women.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

2- Pro Life advocates suppressed in this country for years


Legalized abortion immediately created fear in many causing them to jump on the pro choice wagon so as not to risk job or career, and created resentment and dislike of those who persisted in their beliefs in the right to life. Many felt they no longer had the option of such old fashioned views, not if they might be penalized, and fear helped create the reality. Pretty soon a pro life advocate could not get a letter protesting the relatively recent legalized law published. Pro life views became extremely unpopular and have persisted in being so to this day, but perhaps we are finally seeing a lessening of the fear and the beginning of a little indignation that our policies were so high handedly reversed. I am working to see that pro life democrats will become bolder about speaking out, for how will the young ever get a balanced view if those with strongly opposing beliefs don't make themselves heard?
Blogging is good, anything is good that gets opinions expressed and out there. Little by little we have to remove the taboos imposed mostly by fear I believe and have even kept many from thinking about the subject enough to develop more realistic reservations.
Remember we are dealing with a new phenomonom so we could have been expected to have a difficult time adjusting to it, especially since it involves the end result of deep intimacy, and can therefore easily be regarded as a 'private' matter, but to me death is not a private matter, it has to concern all of us when the law has given license to shed the blood of our own.

1- It's going to take all of us to bring down abortion deaths


I believe that renewed determination is really necessary now to bring down abortion deaths with a democratic pro choice regime in power. I have always believed that people are far more capable of bringing change about than they might believe possible, but they can't do it by not acting. We have never had enough study and evalution of the effect these deaths have, and we are not apt to get them from people who want this solution to work. There is no sense blaming any one person, including a president who was hardly even a teen when abortion was made legal. Young people do not tend to question the status quo, but I do not believe that this many deaths allows anyone true peace of mind. So we must go to work.

More about Bill

I must say I am finding this book by Psychologist John Gartner very fascinating. In case you are wondering why I am studying it, I want to know more about Hillary, too, and what we can expect from her in her most prominent position to date, Secretary of State. I am beginning to think that Hillary did indeed help keep Bill sane who had a very tough childhood. There was even doubt as to who his real father was. How much more dysfunctional can a life get? In this book, it says that after his mother was out partying in the bars every Saturday night, along with her alcoholic husband, Roger Clinton, and would be hung over the next morning, Bill would get up and walk a mile to a Baptist Church as young as 8 years old! None of his family ever went with him. When he decided to get baptized, he went alone! That is amazing. He said that going to church gave him peace. Not surprisingly he owned several bibles that were marked with his notes. He knew that bible thoroughly. His mother had terrible fights with his step father, of extreme violence. Bill finally got old enough when he was around 16 to order him never to physically abuse his mother or his little brother again.
It also reveals that his mother liked to take him as a companion to her favorite bars and entertainment joints with her when he got older. He would go but he was determined never to develop a drinking problem which would interfere with his ambitions to do something more with his life.
His mother also revealed in her book that Bill took his little brother with him wherever he went. He also was his baby sitter and never complained once! And many said that they always thought he was destined to be president if anyone ever was. Quite a number of people said that they just had that feeling of destiny about him, he was so gifted in so many ways, born to be a politician. He looked upon politics as kind of his calling, his destiny. And so it was.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Staggering to the library and back...

I had so many books to take back I could barely walk, and I hoped to have less when I returned, but I found so many I could not resist I staggered home with another giant load. It's a good time to check a lot out as we get to keep them 10 weeks because they are overhauling the computer system. I started reading a giant book called Searching for Bill Clinton by John Hopkins University psychologist, John Gartner. I knew it would be filled with information I did not know about Bill Clinton, and that is proving to be true. For example, I found out that he started reading when he was three years old! And was reading the newspaper by the time he was six. He reminds me a lot of Nelishia's grand daughter Katie who is proving to be so phenomonally gifted when it comes to her studies.
Bill, it was said by those around him, was usually always reading three books at a time. He along with Teddy Roosevelt were two of the readingest presidents of all time. Because their minds were such treasure troves of information they were also big talkers with knowledge about every subject that anybody brought up.
Gartner did research on the mystery that surrounds the identity of Bill's father. His mother claimed he was her husband's who was in the service, but Bill was not premature it was said but came 8 months after he returned from the service. And many said that Bill far more resembled a doctor that his mother interacted with as a nurse anthesiologist. Blythe, her husband, was killed in a car accident before Bill was ever born, but this researcher found out that when the doctor took his wife and family to the seashore, Bill was usually invited to go with them for the whole two weeks every summer, so Dr. Wright, if he was his father, managed to be close to him in ways.
He also talked to one of the doctor's sons who told him that his father was a phenomonal reader! While the intellects in his purported father's family appeared to be only average. This lends credence that Bill had inherited his brilliance from this man. A photo of his oldest son is placed along side Bill's around the same age, and they do look quite a bit alike, but I thought the phenomonal interest in reading was probably the biggest clue. His mother and her family did not have anything close to this level of intellect.
I was eager to find books on all the problems that are besetting us, including the economy. Every day more companies are down sizing, so the numbers who are being laid off are pretty frightening. I think we are all going to have to do a lot of helping in the years to come so that these people laid off will not suffer too much. I do not think we have begun to see the squeeze that will occur when the impact of all this downsizing will be most felt.
I am sure Obama is very nervous about what he will be able to do as president to address this big frightening happening.
I heard an analyst say tonight that we had become a consumer spending society and that China is now the saver and producing one that we once were. And now we are the ones in serious trouble. I think our presidents have quite insanely encouraged spending and buying because they feared to deal with just what has finally happened with all that spending. Up until just a few months ago Bush was oblivious to what was happening in the housing market with people who could not afford it buying new houses. He thought it was a good thing for all Americans to get in their own homes, not realizing that trying to have this American dream could lead to massive foreclosures. Houses have never been cheaper in Arizona which has now resulted in the sale of houses here rising again. People are buying these cheap houses as an investment. But a lot of money has been lost initially in the housing market, and housing starts have practically fallen to zero resulting in layoffs and bankruptcies in the building trades.
My father's thrifty ways kept me from ever having a credit card and buying on credit. He would not buy anything on credit, even a car. I was convinced that I needed to live within my small means even though others around me were buying and buying and did not think filing bankruptcy a bad thing at all. When you buy with the idea you will file bankruptcy I tend to think that is another way to steal. I have seen it happen too many times not to think these people had larceny in their hearts.
I have seen people on low incomes like mine wreck their lives with gambling, borrowing every single month to the max on their government checks from the bank with ruinous interest rates charged. Pierre, my last companion, had gotten to this point with his gambling and spending. Creditors were calling him all day long on his unpaid credit cards. I knew that he and his ex wife had planned to max out two or three credit cards and declare bankruptcy. I don't know if she declared bankruptcy, but he never got around to it before he died. I feel that his financially disastrous habits drove him to his death as much as his smoking and drinking did. He was on the verge of being taken to court by one company. I told him, when he found out he had terminal cancer, well, I guess dying is preferable to you than going to court. He still only had a green card so he was always afraid of being deported back to Canada. I thought he and his cousins were a bunch of thieves who took advantage of our system not to pay their bills and declare bankruptcy after making money a lot of money in construction and gambling and spending it away. They took pride in their building skills, but not in paying their bills!
I immediately tried to rein him in, saying that his attitude was draining the very life's blood out of him. Which is why I am so grateful to find such a frugal man in Doc. He is a different knd of drunk. He was raised by Lutherans who always paid their bills. I don't know what he did back in St. Louis but here he never spends a dime without squeezing it twice. In fact, he reminds me of my father, only he is not quite that unpleasantly stingy. I keep looking for him to go wild, but so far he has not done it. He has not made others pay with his excesses by spending irresponsibly.

I managed to get my sound to my computer back on!


I did it by checking it out this morning when I had sunlight and I turned it off again and unplugged all the connections and then plugged them back in and when I turned the computer back on little chirps came out. I didn't take both connections out at the same time last night, but I got a call from Dan my son saying he would come over and pursue it further if I needed him to, so that was good.
My sister Linda also went to emergency yesterday over her mysterious ailment. They told her she needed to get on AHCCS of course and get it further checked out so in case of surgery she would have money for co-pays, so I believe that is what she is tending to now. As she will have to spend some time going to the right agencies. She has had a lot of worries on her mind with her house going into foreclosure and trying to move to San Francisco, but she can't do that until she feels up to it.
Dante missed a fun weekend with his dad, so when he found out all his dad did including playing paintball he was properly sorry he went off to the mall instead of turning up so his mother grounded him for the weekend. Missing fun hurts him worse than anything.
I am hoping when we go to Calif to see the play we will be able to take him, too, as he has an aunt down there he can visit. He can go to the play with us, too, as my guest. I am hoping to get everything coordinated to meet Pam, there, too. But Dan thinks we will need to wait to March to go.
My Utah relatives will go the last week in February. We have to win the Superbowl before we can do anything and that is going to take a lot of effort by everybody I am sure.
Anyway I am glad that my computer is not going to cost me anything in repairs right now, as I need to save for California. I want to spend my savings for something fun!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Help, my sound on computer suddenly stopped working!

Does anybody have any ideas. I was playing some videos on Youtube and it just stopped working. I can't play dvds either as the sound system seems knocked out. I wasn't doing anything when it went out except watching them. My computer sounds spooky without a whole lot of sound. The little green light comes on the speakers but all it will make is a little noise and that's it. I have turned off computer and unplugged all the speaker wires I can see and even plugged one to a port in front, and I called my son Dan twice, and still no sound. He had me check to see if mute button was on but it wasn't. I can always watch stuff I need to hear down to Doc's but this is a bummer. I am saving my shekals to go to the play in L.A. so wouldn't have the money for repair if that is what it needs. By the way would this be easy to get fixed?

My orgasmic shirt man--woof!


I went to the thrift store this morning after a two week hiatus saving money and I found the most perfect green shirt for Doc. It was a brand new adides with a $70 dollar price tag still on it for $5 on Senior citizen day, and he looked so good in it. That is one thing I love about Doc. His handsome father used to model clothes in his sales job in an expensive men's retail store, and he used to bring home suits for his handsome little son to wear! He had to beg for blue jeans! But Doc far surpasses any man I have ever known in having fun with clothes. He loves color, the wilder the better. He has truly been an inspiration for my thrift store fashion shopping. It is no fun buying clothes for men if they don't like it. He might complain but he still enjoys it! So that made my day!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

To my 13 year old grandson on being sexually active


Obama's quick action on striking the restriction down on paying for abortion for foreign women who receive help from the U.S. in regard to reproduction tells us that we have a new pro choice regime and that he means business in expressing his belief in pro choice by his actions. He also has strong pro choice support in secretary of state Hillary Clinton and other pro choice democrats. I think it would be safe to assume that at this point in time he would not even have received the democratic nomination had he not exprsssed a belief in pro choice.
As I see it the citizens of the U.S. are locked in conflict with each other right now over pro choice vs. pro life. Bush becoming one of the most hated presidents in memory I think we can lay at his decision to conduct not only a war with Afganistan in his effort to bring down Osama bin Ladin because of 9/11 but war with Iraq based on faulty intelligence about their possession of weapons of mass destruction, which he has finally expressed regret about. That is he recently made a statement that he wished they had possessed better intelligence about Iraq.
Bush was given a mandate by the American people maybe because enough people saw him as the more rightous candidate with his firm support of pro life as opposed to Gore's firm support of pro choice. Pro choice democrats prefer to believe that Gore was robbed in Florida, but just the same the election was extremely close. So if Bush did not get a clear mandate he got one close enough that the public accepted his win.
I donot think that American Christians have crystallized their beliefs on abortion being wrong enough to be determined that they are going to have to do something significant about the sheer numbers of children being killed in the U.S. alone.
I do not see much sense blaming Obama when the pro choice faction has been so determined to lead the democratic party to pro choice now and pro choice forever. With a willing media, they have taught a whole lot of younger people who have practically grown up with abortion that there is nothing wrong with it. So how can we say that Obama is the villain any more than the thousands and thousands of pro choice believers in the U.S. right now? He is the fruit of their teaching.
So in this video I am not concentrating on what Obama is doing and will undoubtedly continue to do in his support of pro choice, I am saying that it is up to everyone to bring the abortion numbers down. I have always said that if every person works on the problem within their own family, their own circle, much can be done.
I am talking to my grandson on that basis, and I will continue to put out videos in this vein, hoping to keep calling attention to the need to bring abortion numbers down as we can by interacting more with anyone apt to be a part of an unwanted pregnancy. That is surely the case when a very young teen gets another very young teen pregnant.
My idea is to think of prevention, prevention, prevention. I am asking my grandson to think about being a leader in helping teens not to head straight into trouble by becoming sexually active, but to refrain in every way possible from conceiving a child when they are in no way ready to have one. I will be calling and talking to his mother more often about this, and to Dante himself. I know his mother is committed to no abortion, did not believe in it, and even though she was only 17 when she conceived Dante, and my son the father was not happy with the fact he also bore equal responsibility for, she had him. My son married her but declared his intentions not to stay married and started going out while he was stationed overseas in the Navy. So she had it rough the three years he was gone over seas.
I interacted with Dante as I tell about in this video and kept writing to his dad about what this baby was doing, and finally telling him that I feared what would happen to this child if he did not come back and get involved in his life. His job was not done.
Amazingly they reconciled for a number of years to do just that. Look after this child together as their top priority. I believe that those early rough years of the marriage caused difficulties that could not ultimately be overcome, and once again separation happened. And once again I am going to do everything I can to help get Dante through his teen years without being a part of a teen pregnancy that will either causse much hardship for all concerned, or a family tragedy if abortion is the choice. We have to look on abortion as a tragedy, as something to try to prevent at all costs.

I think that legalized abortion has torn down more morals than it has ever helped build because it has made killing another human being an option for teens when a child is conceived. I have often wondered how pro choice people can build up such a head of steam about war mongering, and global warming destroying the habitat of animals and people, and yet refuse to show any remorse about the loss of a little human being. How can we possibly claim this is a good option? It doesn't matter whether we say we believe life begins at conception or not, it takes bloodshed and killing to stop that embryo from developing into a baby that will need to be taken care of by parents who may be still children themselves. Dante has trouble accepting his mother's two babies conceived with her present companion, I know he is not ready to be a father by any stretch of the imagination and won't be for considerable time.
I think we need to paint a more realistic picture to teens of what a millstone they will put around their own necks if they get reckless with the idea that abortion will take care of any problem their out of control sexual behavior causes.
I do not think Christians have talked against legalized abortion nearly enough. They have not gone out on a limb to make this astronomical number of abortion deaths a top priority. Until they decide they mmust go to work, they too hold some responsibility for flooding the heavens with children conceived here. What is God going to say to those who say they don't believe in it, but do nothing to stop it?
So I am hoping that this will be a topic of a lot more discussion, not less, and that people will start questioning those who are so sure they are right in taking us deeper into abortion by continually striking down all limitations any faction can come up with. I intend to write a strong letter to Obama and send it to the White House about his latest action. I kept the White House mailman busy in both the Clinton and Bush years. I have a number of responses about my abortion letters from Bush. Clinton never answered any of my protests about what he was doing, but he got the letters. Plus I will be doing a lot more activities to make my opinions heard, everything I can think of! In case you want to send off a letter to the President here is his address: The White House, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NA, Wash. D.C. 20500.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Fast transit, walk in Tempe, and Chinese lunch, Doc's treat


Doc was dressed in this outfit. Had I known this outing would turn out so well I would have taken my camera, but Doc almost chickened out when he saw how crowded it was. It seems everyone has fallen in love with the new fast transit. It was packed. He had to think it over after we passed up one. We got on the second one and enjoyed a different way to get to Tempe, our University of Arizona college town. My daughter Ronda graduated from there, and Raymond took classes and I went with him a number of times to plays so I am pretty familiar with Mill Avenue where we got off the transit. It would go on out to Mesa.
We walked leisurely down Mill Avenue. Doc got a little testy when I said I was getting hungry so soon. He never gets hungry, and I thought I might have to settle for a little sandwich. But then we came to a very nice Chinese restaurant with a lovely outdoor patio. By the way it was in the seventies here, read it and weep. I was very surprised when frugal Doc decided we should eat lunch there. I ordered a tofu and vegetarian dish called Buddha's Feast, and he even ordered tofu and broccoli, and his tofu turned out to be deep fried, absolutely delicious. The brown rice was wonderful The sauces they brought to our table tasty. I drank hot green tea and Doc had two glasses of beer, first brown beer I have seen.
And surprise surprise Doc tipped the waitress very generously. I love that in a man when I am with him, being an old waitress. Ours looked like a little college girl earning some extra money. I am sure she appreciated it. She brought us take home containers, too. I was not going to waste a single speck. My vegetables were varied, asparagus, pea pods full of peas, mush room, carrot, broccoli with steamed tofu, cooked to absolute crunchy perfection.
Doc wanted us to go to a tiny park in back of the buildings lining the street on Mill Avenue where he said he used to go when he was homeless. There was a water fountain and three giant sculptured Jack Rabbits! I had no idea they were there nor do I know why jack rabbits.
So we not only got a long walk but food jumping with vitamins. What could be better? And we took the ride home on the transit in relative content. Doc insisted I take home all the leftovers some of which I ate for supper. That is actually the best out to dinner date Doc has ever treated me with, in fact, it is probably the first and only one. It did cost him but he did not complain. He promised I would never hear about what he spent again!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Dante does not show up from school, Mother picked up phone 4 hrs later to file police report, Dante shows up!


Oh what a night after I had oh what a day. Both his mother and dad went to where his dad was to pick up Dante from school, and he did not show. Dan left to go take care of some business, his mother was seized with a mighty anxiety attack as all mothers are prone to, Dan refused to be as fearful, she got mad, so I became the go between talking to them both on the phone as we wondered why in a society with every other kid with a cell phone, Dante just did not call home. It figured he might have been kidnapped, held against his will, police were called and said that in four hours a police report could be filed. Mother and Dad stopped speaking as each did not react as the other thought right. I kept saying, well, call me, if you hear anything.
Finally just as his mother was picking up the phone to call the police Dante walked in the door. I told her to tell him I loved him, and to please not scare his mother and grandmother like that. His dad claimed he was not scared as he suspected that Dante being impulsive ran into something he wanted to do and did it. He said he did not want Dante to live in fear, of what punishment, as he is bound to be punished.
But in the meantime, his mother and I had a good talk about how to try to keep him from becoming sexually active as she said one of his little friends had a girl pregnant at 13! This certainly alarmed me, and she said she had taken him to an Internet website to show him all the sexually transmitted diseases he could get. She felt that his father was not a good role model for him because he was encouraging him to go with girls, probably because he is dating. I told him what she said in another phone call he made to me in between in answer to one I made to him. She is staying home keeping care of two little kids with her present love, so she has Dante during school, since Dan is working. So she probably feels she has more of Dante than she needs on a night like this.
I just tried to be as neutral as I could and not take sides too far one way or the other which is the duty of the mother and the former mother-in-law and grandmother of the child.
Doc will probably faint when he hears this story as he already thinks my family is one of the most dysfunctional on earth. He made a date for us to go on the new fast transit to the end of the line tomorrow, so I could get away from it all. So when I tell him Dante was lost for 4 hours I don't know whether HE will be able to stand it without saying something that will make me mad so that I am no longer speaking to HIM. But Dante is a TEENAGER now. Let's see sports got discussed, why hasn't his dad got him into sports so he would not be tempted by girls at his young age. I don't know the answer, but I know that Dante is going to be a teen for quite a few years so we better get prepared for the ride.

Karen's Memorial Service and saying good-bye


I was pleased to see a large gathering in the ballroom to say good-bye to Karen, including several members of the staff, which testifies to her ability to connect to people. I was happy to meet her father for the first time who she had talked about a lot. He was a gentle soul which I must say surprised me as I had pictured him as a more truculant fellow and he was not. He was quick to tears at losing a daughter, although he does not look as though he will live many more years. Her mother did not attend as she lives in another state and is not doing well because of her diabetis, which Karen may have inherited from her.
I found out that Karen was having pain in her shoulder and had asked her closest friend who had a key to her apartment to respond if there was an emergency. So she must have some misgivings, but Ron said that he did not ever expect to have to respond as she suggested because "she was doing so well." I was so glad to hear that she had been doing well as I had thought. Her death was not expected by anyone. You might say in this case we were by death surprised.
Some said she had risen to a personal high in feelings of fulfillment in some new mosaic art work she was learning how to do. She had fallen in love with it just as she had previously fallen in love with quilting.
We were asked to give remarks if we chose, and I talked about the long period of time we were each other's closest neighbors, around 7 or 8 years, much longer than I thought. Her sister was really grieving. A brother was there and one brother did not make it. I described thinking of her as kind of a daughter and giving her bowls of soup, especially after she had her heart attack and cautioning her to look after her health better, as she hated having diabetis and did not accept it well. Most of them laughed as they knew this Karen well. Her cat Freeway was almost as well known as she was. I also thought back and reported that in all those years Karen and I did not exchange a cross word. If you were completely civil to Karen she appreciated it and responded in kind, even though she did have issues with some people and was not afraid to speak her mind. There were times when she was working through a lot of difficulties. I never got into her personal problems as I always think that is a mistake in complex like this, with so many with severe problems. It is not healthy! And she would never lay anything on you you did not ask her about. So despite any inner conflicts she was experiencing, she was considerate of boundaries. Which is probably why so many people came to tell her good-bye.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Thanks to a president for his service

When I read that Obama had given McCain a dinner after the election, I decided that I would post this graphic made by Connie to express her appreciation to a president. She said she hoped not to get in trouble for snagging this photo on the Internet, but no copywright infringement is intended. I absolutely adore Laura Bush's dress. You talk about fashion, I think this is the most beautiful dress she has ever worn. I thought she was a very classy first lady.
Connie and I both did not agree with some of Bush's actions and policies. I was disappointed he did not do more than he did for my causes. But I think the office of presidency extracts a high toll from any man, and Bush was always there. I came to think that he had limitations that were inherent that kept him from being a great president. He was adequate. He was the man of destiny for that time. Enough said. Thank you, Connie, for this tribute. I think it shows that you have the courage and independence of your convictions. See Connie's blog on my side bar: Windswept Whispers.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Why expecting 'meds' to keep people from doing bad things fails

I live in a HUD complex where quite a number of mental patients on disability reside so we are always hearing discussion of how this one and that one went off their meds and on a rampage. A great deal of blame is sent the way of the prescribers who have often been sued in our city as ultimately responsible for some terrible murders because they did not monitor their patients close enough and somehow keep them from going off their meds and committing some ghastly crimes.
Another such crime is in the paper today which galvanizes me finally to speak out. A teacher at a Catholic school around 62 did not come to work and when police were sent to check on her uncharacteristic silence, she was found dead and her undoubtedly mentally ill son was digging a grave size hole in the backyard quite openly. All too often this kind of crime is splashed across the front pages.
Another mentally ill man committed the crime of bludgeoning to death two little boys playing in the park who were the same age of his own two boys who were living in another state at the time. This was such a henious crime that it hit national headlines.
A settlement was given by the jury of 36 million dollars recently to a family that sued after a mentally ill man came and shot a young father and another man who were gathering carts to take into a shopping center. The prescribers were the ones who were going to have to cough up this settlement. I don't know how Value Options and other such providers keep functioning with such ruinous judgments by jurors frustrated with crime after crime like this. Value Options lost the contract they had with the county to care for their mentally ill, and another company had taken over when the mentally ill man went on the rampage and killed the two little boys.
But such settlements will not bring back life, and I am thinking that we as a society are expecting the impossible of pills. The mentally ill patient always has the option of not taking them. Aren't we avoiding another conclusion we might come to about a society that would expect pills which the patient may or may not take to stop the savage beast from emerging to kill.
Nobody ever talks about a society that does not hold its self in check from killing policies and then expects pills to do the job in others. That is just not rational thinking.
Too many times families become unable to control a member who has begun to exhibit violent tendencies. I think we are seeing the break down in these cases of a society that does not constantly present a good example of restraint to its most unstable members. We are raising people to kill. And we don't know why?
I believe our society is suffering from a serious case of mental illness that pills will not cure. Only recognizing the malady and taking the steps to rid ourselves from such thinking is the only thing that is going to stop our progress into more and more violence. These unstable people are not getting the example they need from birth.
I am reading that one in five young people now days gets diagnosed with a mental illness. That should be enough to tell us right there that is a big fallout from compromising on acts of violence. We delude ourselves at our own peril.
Once a person is on the rampage, nobody can stop the carnage. Somebody is going to get hurt. The power of the mind and good example of restraint is what I think keeps people from committing violence. Stability in the parent and in the society around them is what builds sanity. We are expecting way too much from pills.

Son Gary buying novels at Barnes and Noble now: see what happens when you encourage kids to read!


My oldest son Gary said on the phone that he is no longer watching French movies, but going to Barnes and Noble and buying novels (when he is not working on his heavy construction job). He just bought "The Reader", read it, and went to the movie the same night. He, like I, thought Kate Winslet a heck of a good actress. He said he went by my sister Linda's and placed a grocery card gift on my youngest son Dan's pillow. Gary fell asleep and did not make it to the family Christmas dinner. I thought how nice it would be to come home and find that gift on your pillow in these times. Although Dan claims he has only seen Gary 12 times in his life, since Gary is 21 years older and had moved out when he came along. I told Gary this and he said it was probably true. He is cheerful and unrepentant about what he does or does not do. I never reproach my kids if I don't see them years on end. I figure that would only make them worse. Ha. Besides they are only a phone call away and so far none have refused to chat with me.
I was heartened to see a long ad today on Tv in which a soft spoken older woman said that she was Jane Roe of Roe vs. Wade and that she regrets seeking a legal abortion more than anything she has ever done which case went all the way to the Supreme Court and changed the law. She said she was 21 years old and got pregnant when she was unprepared. I thought well she has come a ways in making restitution, but the momentom is so great it is probably going to take years to change the abortion law of the land back to what it was before. I don't expect to see that happen in my time left on earth.
I was reading a Michael Moore book today who is a darling of the liberal media, and he had about three pages in his book of all the war crimes Bush has committed in going to war with Iraq, and should have been charged with. He said impeachment was too good for a war criminal. But on the other hand, he waxes indignant at anybody who is stupid enough to want to take away abortion rights and for them he reserves utmost scorn.
This sounds like a liberal man's way of looking at things, but I can't get over how people contradict themselves with their beliefs. And his books have been so popular, plus his movies documentary style. People like him are one of the reasons we will continue to see high numbers of abortions. I donot believe the numbers of deaths will come down significantly until the laws allowing abortions for any reason are changed. People sometimes need the help of a strict law to keep from doing something they had not ought to do.
As we have done with the economy I think we will continue on this course until we are as spiritually bankrupt as we are bankrupt money wise. Which is why regulation can stop this sort of tendency in people--to overspend, over borrow, and too many thinking bankruptcy will take care of everything. Except the whole country is on the verge of bankruptcy now, stores without end, banks, people, states, cities. But we just have to go on and cut and cut jobs until it hurts. Arizona is one of the hard hit states, and when Napolitano came into office there was a surplus in the treasury if you can imagine. It did not take long for the state to go on a massive spending spree, naturally bankng on sales tax, etc, that no longer materialized. You can see what happened. Now Janet Brewer who has a reputation for beng frugal has been sworn in as governor and inherits the awful job of fixing a wild spending spree. I don't envy her, but she looks like a tough cookie and will make it through.
Economic news continues to be pretty bad, so it is no wonder people can't think of any other disaster they may have been cultivating for years.
The bright spot of the election was the joy of dark skinned people here and all over the world with the development of equality that finally resonates among people of color with the election of an African American president. But I know that those who have not been made to feel equal in this country will also be overwhelmed for a time with what they will be expected to do in fixing problems. Before we did not let them into office so they were not constrained to work on the problems. It does feel better to have everybody working on the problems.
I believe that blacks will concede that in their life time they didnot expect to see this event come about, so from a childhood that may have been saddened with prejudice, a new day has dawned for many in relationships between the races. I am proud of America for making progress in this area.
But this also confirms how long life is and how many changes can happen, and those who justify abortion because that child may come into the world unwanted and struggling, must concede that as long as you have life you can anticipate and sometimes get changes for the better, but once a child is conceived and killed in an abortion, that chance is over. Life is gone forever, so again we must ask people to realize the magnitude of what taking life is. I believe all these little children would have chosen to stay with the parents who conceived them if that was possible. All will leave this earth with infinite sorrow because more people do not realize what they are doing in taking away the gift of life.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Inauguration speech and what democrats might expect from Obama


I am stating here that I am pledging myself again to freeing the democratic party from those who think they should have the upper hand in deciding what shall be the democratic platform, and how can the democrats expect to go under God with pro choice. How many people can actively pray and ask God's guidance and believe in abortion? Does keeping the earth green mean that we can't get along without legalized abortion? It is an act of faith to believe that character can triumph, the strength to believe that all children conceived deserve the chance to live. If we do not want children, the best policy is to act responsibly at all times and not conceive them. I do not believe that God excuses this mistake with abortion. Is God too tough? This is the biggest challenge and moral dilemma this world has ever faced, because antibiotics determined that abortion would be safe for the mother. Abortion was bound to become the biggest temptation we have ever had to justify killing.

Obama with his view of abortion on CNN


Obama is surprisingly even handed in this interview pointing out that the number of abortions did not come down significantly during pro life President Bush's terms in office, which was certainly a disappointment. I believe that once he had to concentrate on two wars, that was pretty much it for reducing abortions. But Clinton also promised to work for less abortions which I do not believe happened during his terms in office either. Obama also conceded that for those who believe life begins at conception, he will not be on the same page. So where do we go from here? We will need lots of prayers on this quandry.

Video of Pro Life and Politics

Obama gives great inauguration speech


I thought I would post this photo of my grandson, Jamal, whose father was an African American from Khartoum, Sudan and whose adopted father is from Denver, Colorado, who has been extremely kind and supportive to him. Thanks to the election of Obama my grandson's future in America looks a whole lot brighter today and for that I am deeply grateful, for I have worried since he was born about whether life for him would be doubly hard with all the prejudice that still seemed to be present in our country.
Obama gave a speech that I cannot imagine being any better or more appropriate for the occasion. Every word and idea resonated, nothing empty rhetoric. Too much is at stake. Our country is in too bad of shape and we desperately need everyone working with enthusiasm side by side to make things better. I have felt ever since the election black America has suddenly come forth as a now enthusiastic branch of our populace, when before, made sullen by bad treatment, they acted as though America's promise just had not been fulfilled for them. So hope is in the air.
I am sure my grandson who even bears a certain resemblance to Obama is stepping lighter and feeling more excited about college and his future.
I have always felt very proud of Americans when we showed signs of being able to treat the minorities in our midst as equals, working with them, giving them respect and enjoying their gifts and their differences. In fact, I even attribute the Cardinals winning the chance to go to the Superbowl to Obama's victory because they felt so invincible they thought they could bring this teams out of obscurity. White and black worked together side by side to beat impossible odds. There was no stopping them. A great white quarterback, Kurt Warner, who always treats people with great respect, and some great black players teamed up to excite the world.
I think that is what Obama and his cabinet and staff are set to do. With cooperation they can accomplish so much more.
I could just feel the people of many countries watching who would be considered minorities in our country and could feel the hatred ebbing away just a little, warmed by his words. I think the whole world craves acceptance, and that can go a long ways in healing old wounds--more powerful than bullets, acceptance. Obama is wise enough to gamble on humane treatment more than bruising power. We have been humbled. We need to be shown once again that great wealth and all the power that that generates is not the strongest force. How many people have feared to trust strength of character over wealth. A good beginning with Obama not promising more than I think he can deliver. Restrained but wise. We can rest easier with a younger leader when there is a thoughtful mind at work.

Monday, January 19, 2009

A friend, Karen, only 51, was found dead here over the weekend


I thought I was feeling extra sad Sunday when I was making the video about pro life, but I did not find out about Karen's death until this morning. Karen was my closest neighbor for about five years, and I was concerned about her then. She ended up in the hospital with a heart attack undoubtedly caused by the diabetis she did not know she had. She fought the diagnosis, even to getting up and leaving the ICU to go home! She was a very independent soul. I was so alarmed about her inability to accept her diagnosis I would make chicken soup for her and encourage her to get on the medication by talking about my sister Ann with far worse diabetes. I remember asking her one time what her blood sugar was and she said, "Oh, 300 or so, I don't remember." I expressed lots of alarm. I just could not see her dying so young. She had also started drinking again and experienced violent mood swings under the influence, so I was trying to keep close track of her, wondering if she was going to stabilize, but she finally did and seemed to be doing well for the last two years when she finally got a bigger apartment she had wanted so long.
She and I had a mutual friend in Bob and we both spent hours talking to him. Bob was so easy to talk to. We were both extremely upset when he got cosmetic surgery for his eyelids and ended up in emergency. We were calling every hospital in the city trying to find him when we received the shocking news tht he was on life support. Imagine dying over cosmetic surgery on your eyelids. I know Bob would have to laugh at that unique cause of his demise.
I went to another friend's house this morning to find out what had happened to Karen. I was relieved to hear that she probably had the most peaceful death possible. She was found just sitting on her couch as though nothing has happened. So the cause of death was surely a heart attack or other cardiovascular accident that hit her so fast she did not even have time to move. She was staying active, going out to Sun City to visit her father quite often, and I would see her in the halls or on the bus and we would have a good chat. Karen made beautiful quilts. That was her hobby.
I am sure she is the most concerned over her father's upset at surviving his daughter. I have made contact with Bob who says he has been with Karen ever since it happened, and he will stay with her as long as he is needed. I think now that Pierre's presence here was a warning as he was also a good friend of Bob's. We all played pool together every day for two or three years, until Bob quit because of his droopy eyelids.(He couldn't see the balls he said) Instead he started learning all about computers and ran the computer lab for two or three years.
I just screamed when I heard Bob was dying, and I am sure Karen did, too. It was a shock, but I knew Karen had had big issues with her health so her death was somehow not such a shock even though she seemed far too young to die. Still she was alone in the world except for her beloved cat Freeway and her friends and her dad mostly. She did not have children. I don't know if she ever married.
I am so thankful Bob is over there, because if ever there was a good friend to her it was him. Yes, I do believe the ghosts in this old hotel wander through the place all the time. I had Ellen on my mind, too, this morning who died last summer but who played such an active role here. Now Karen has joined them, so easily, so softly, still with friends, her time to go. Not enough to hold her here, she is moving on. Goodbye Karen, Bob will take care of you until you get used to your next life.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

"Mother Mary saves me from freezing to death"


This video posted by Nahulanham caught my attention when I was posting on Youtube and I was moved by it and thought that it was a reaffirming of the holy spirit saving people. It reminded me so much of the experience I had of being saved by a manifestation of our savior in a light above me. This man was hitchhiking a long way in 1978 and had a manifestation of Mother Mary when he needed it to survive cold and sickness on the road. He says he is not even a Christian but his videos show that he is deeply in tune with the spiritual.

Pro Life Sunday and encouragement to protesters

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Dreams of running with horses



Connie who does the Special Lady creations loves horses as I do. The horse above reminds me of my dreams. I used to dream about horses a lot. One of my favorites was dreaming that I was running side by side with them along some western trail and keeping up! I would wake up and think I must have been a horse at one time, if I could keep up with a horse in my dreams. They must have been my brothers in some dim past life. Since my grandfather owned about 40 horses and my dad fifteen or twenty on his ranch I made it a point to get acquainted with as many of these horses as I could, just like you would with people.
I glanced at the horse my dad is riding out on the Boulder winter range in this picture and I think it was Hank. If it isn't my sister Ann will correct me as she acquainted herself well with my dad's horses once it was her turn to do some cow punching with him after I went away to school. The other guy is probably riding a Jepsen horse. Looks like Blue. When my dad bought this ranch, to my delight, there was a bunch of new horses for me to get acquainted with. I had a notable experience with all three of the riding horses we acquired, Blue, Blackie and a little red mare named Wissy my dad gave to me. The owner was Danish so I assumed Wissy was a Danish name. Wissy had been gored by a wild cow so everytime a cow with horns got near her she would jump sideways all over the place. My dad warned me to watch closely or she'd throw me. She was so easily spooked she was a strain to ride.
Anyway Hank was sired from an expensive guarter horse and was he spirited. Even as a colt he would gallop up and act like he was going to jump right on the horse you were riding just to scare you. I had to ride Dinah, his mother, a lot and she absolutely hated to work. She would start kicking up after about an hour or so and try to scare you into taking her home. She really acted up with me one time when we had left her colt home and she was mad. She nearly keeled over backwards. In fact she scared my dad so bad, he yelled at me, "Git off! Git off!" I knew he did not mean it as she was up in the air. How could I get off? I yelled at him she wanted her colt, so after she came back down to the ground, the old cowboy Dad finally said I could take her back to the barn and her colt.
Anyway Hank had to have something of Dinah's defiant nature in him, and he was so fiesty that my dad finally gave up riding him as his main mount and passed him on to Pole, his son-in-law, who probably loved this horse more than any horse he ever rode. He was fast. He was beautiful, and Pole was proud of himself for being able to handle him.
By the way, the other photo is of the rugged country where our family ranches were located. This was taken on Hell's Backbone looking off into Death Canyon.
Now, I am looking closer, I see the horse my dad was riding is not Hank, but Sorly. Oh, but that horse was a magnificent animal, generally conceded as the most intelligent and well trained cow horse of his time. My Dad was confident when he put me on him to do a difficult job Sorly would see it got done. Well, I knew I was on a master when I rode him, if I had the sense to stay on him, which I didn't one time. One of my worst days of cowpunching among many. Cowpunching for my dad was always a trial. When I survive the day I felt I had succeeded. Whether I was with him or by myself I knew I had to answer for every mistake I made. He cussed until he got it out of his system which might be two or three days, everytime he thought of what you had done and how much extra work it was going to cost him.
He put the other sisters through the same rigamarole. My mother could only be persuaded to go cow punching with him about once and she said he tried to kill her by forcing her to ride pell mell through a bunch of aspens down hill, so she refused ever to go again, but the love of horses was in the sisters' blood, so no matter what happened on the trail, we could always be lured back on a horse to go again. My dad and my granddad King were great horsemen.

Friday, January 16, 2009

1- Sanctity of Life month and do we survive death?

"Slavery by Another Name" and was abortion legalized for racist reasons?

I am deep into a horrifying book, "Slavery by Another Name", about how the slave states found a way around the proclamation of freedom for blacks to enslave them again through incarceration and convict labor. There is good reason you won't see many books published about this practice, because racists have been too powerful. In fact, I think the publishers capitalized on Obama's run for president to bring it out now. This is a grim dark story some are bound to think would be better left unexplored.
But this author, Douglas A. Blackmon, was able to research the records of jails in the south and found the evidence of years of black convict labor sold to railroad companies, coal mine owners, steel industries developing in the south, all in need of cheap labor which they got in blacks incaracerated for minor reasons and often held for years, beaten, starved, and worked long hours in utmost servitude. In fact since nobody owned them but possibly the Sheriffs who had charge of selling their services, and the companies who bought them, there was little incentive to treat them even as well as slaves. Many many black men died under the terrible conditions convict laborers were subjected to, after they were ostensibly freed but were having a terrible time finding employers to pay them for their work.
The one hope the blacks had was that the federal government mandated so much money allotted to educate their children. At first the allotment was equal which infuriated whites who felt their higher taxes entitled them to more money for their schools, a policy they changed and is still pretty much in play. But it was not until after World War II and the Civil Right movement to desegregate schools that blacks started making more progress toward real equality. Until then they were held down as equal but separate.
So racism has long been a way of thinking in our country. As a child, I remember lynchings were still happening on a regular basis. There was profit in convict labor as there was in slave labor from which those who did the work did not benefit. The greed motive is very often behind racism, a policy where the whites in control will be the only ones to benefit from the labor of others. Slavery by another name kept many blacks from ever earning anything from their own work, long after slavery had been banished. A way could be found by the unscrupulous to continue it.
I am considering that legalized abortion also has some of its origin in racism, since blacks and other minorities are most likely to need public assistance. When I went on welfare the first time in the early eighties it was still a lot more difficult for blacks to get jobs than whites, so if they were not to starve they applied for welfare and food stamps and public housing. Desegregation in the job place as well as in the schools was an obvious need. If America wanted to cut the welfare rolls, it had to make it easier for minorities to get jobs. And it had to pay them a fair wage so they could sustain their families.
But I think some have proclaimed that we must offer legalized abortion as well when parents cannot afford their children, at the same time that public assistance is made harder to get, which is what has come about through powerful people in command. Again, the same end is desired that different kinds of slavery and bad treatment brought about, a significant amount of deaths and therefore a lowering of this population or atleast holding it in check among those who cannot 'afford' the children they are conceiving.
That is my big objection to the democratic party becoming the party of pro choice, thus insuring that most blacks will accept pro choice because this is the party that helped them to advance civil rights. I wonder what Catholic John Kennedy would have to say about that, who did so much to advance civil rights as did Lyndon Johnson. Would he have become a Catholic for Choice as his brother Ted Kennedy did. I think the idea would be that you can't kill off enough blacks and other minorities, although their Catholicism makes it harder to convince hispanics to have abortions. I am for one furious at the emotional blackmail the abortion advocates have perpetuated on blacks, and who will surely reward them with approval if they go along. I would say that this beleagured race does not want to see treachery where it exists. Anyone who advocates population control through abortion should be suspect as a racist in my opinion. These people don't like kids. People who like kids are simply a lot more apt to reject the abortion solution. Racism has resulted in encouraging blacks to hate themselves just because whites insist there is something inferior about them. It is not too big of a stretch to get them to hate the kids they keep conceiving in poor circumstance enough to abort them. I am not willing to see any kids die in abortion, black, yellow, brown or white.
If we love kids we are going to keep fighting for other solutions besides killing them to solve our problems. We are going to commit ourselves to solutions that do not require bloodshed of the unborn. We are going to question the necessity of a killing policy to keep our population under control We are going to believe that with divine help we can find another way.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Sister LaRae (passed) comes to talk about what happens to aborted children in the afterlife


The photo above is of my sister LaRae and my mother who has joined her on the other side, and who LaRae may have recruited to go along with her on her walks. I have had several dialogues with my sister LaRae who died over 20 years ago about abortion, since she had one just before abortion was legalized in 1973. She did not tell us all the details of how it was done, but she told us two years later what happened. I had a very troubling premonition when she told us that she would not live to be old, because she was a very sensitive person and I thought this act would take too big of toll on her. Not long before she died I had a dream that I saw a sculptured skull of a child in a field as though it had tumbled from a grave and I somehow knew that this was her child, and a voice spoke to me and told me that this child had forgiven her mother and was waiting to be reunited with her in the after life. I woke up and cried and cried and cried. LaRae was an artist and had sculptured a great many 'heads' as she and my siter Linda called their sculptures.
In dialogues I had with her after she passed she said that she experienced what many parents experience who have killed a child or aborted one, a lot of difficulty in coming to terms with the reality of what she had done, so she could come back along the long road of redemption. She said naturally there is a lot of distrust, even though now days many have been taught since they were born that this act is all right, difficult, but not anything to be too troubled about.
She became converted to pro choice and maintained her belief until she died some 15 years later, so she and I agreed not to discuss the subject since we would only argue.
She says that anyone who survives death and is taken to see the numbers of children killed in abortion can no longer remotely maintain such a belief. She says that this is easily the biggest source of deaths now sending these tiny souls into the hereafter before they have even breathed. She said at first they are housed in what look like giant hospitals and many have been recruited to look after them as they mature from whatever age they were killed in embryo. She says many relatives of the child come and take an interest and will volunteer to take the child when it is old enough to go with them and be responsible for 'raising' it. Then others who are not relatives are recruited to take others.
Now I do think that if we believe in a hereafter we have to try to figure out how it could work. LaRae says what I have long suspected that the spirit is just made of unseen and very tough material which is the 'life' in a body and survives death. And lives in a demension touching ours and in many cases intermingling, as she says she visits the living regularly to keep check on what her family is doing at all times and to help watch over them when needed.
She says when anyone is sick or in danger a more extensive watch is put over them until the danger is either gone or they have passed.
When I was young and experienced great danger Jesus had a special meaning for me, as the great spirit who really did suffer the little children to come unto him. As I grew older other spirits came to the forefront more. I always had a sense of family spirits who had passed including my beloved grandmother who I felt staying around for some years when my dad was still drinking so heavily. She was always very worried about us children, and I had more than one vivid dream of a visit from her. I used to feel my first husband's mother around a lot who had died when he was 4 as she was always very worried about him in our married years when he had gotten so unstable and was actively threatening suicide as well as extreme violence. But he got through those years, but still at 74, he virtually committed suicide by disappearing into the desert, but as I told my son, Raymond, his was a much less tragic death than it would have been when he was a young man. As it was he and Raymond got close and spent many hours singing. His dad often lived with him a few months in the winter, when it was cold in Utah, in his last years
LaRae has come because it is Sanctity of Life month, and she says it is all right to talk about her life. I did not want to upset her daughters so have tried to refrain from that as much as possible. If I think it is going to upset too much I am not going to talk about anyone's abortion. But after many years, I believe that LaRae did come tonight in response to a need. This is such a tough subject that always causes me to get down, so I think she has come to talk about the Sanctity of Life in an uplifting way. She reassures me that life is eternal and that these children recover albeit with their scars and live happy years where they are. We have discussed reincarnation and she says that some will return faster than others. She for example will not return until all her immediate family who need her to be there have come to the other side, so that means there will be a long period of learning and analyzing what happened in this life before members of our family start to think about reincarnation. People in places like India I think are prepared throughout their lives for reincarnation so are ready to return sooner.
She says that the aborted children are not ready to return until they have worked through the fact that they have been the victims of earth's modern policies. She says they ask a lot of questions and want to know why. They try to find out from relatives what their parents were like and why this was their fate.
She says she has talked to her child many times about this in answer to her questions. She says her child has helped her not to despair and when she gets down the thought of this child always gets her going again, because if she can accept her fate and still forgive she must forgive herself and believe in change. LaRae rebelled against religion in any form and that seemed to be what led her to support of such policies, and so discussion of religion versus 'secular' belief abound there, she says.
LaRae says this is a very down time on earth and it is ripe for a change, a moving away from questionable policies toward the light. Religion as she experienced it on earth was binding to her spirit instead of freeing it to expand, but once she had gone through death, she truly knew what salvation means. She says there is exaltation in this thought, we shall not die, and that she is living now as she never lived on earth, freed from any thoughts that harm to others in any way is all right. She experienced a long dark night of the soul when she went down that road. She told us not long before she died that she went to see the father of the child who was married which was one reason for the abortion. He told her that the reason she was dying was because she had not had this child. She acted as though she accepted that, that this might be true. It was like she had tasted death in a lethal form when she became the instrument of death to her child within and she never recovered, but I believe that repentance will bring about recovery in this life which is often very necessary when other young children are there and need a mother. Then repentance is the bravest thing one can do to restore good mental health and peace to a troubled heart. I believe that Jesus heals all troubled souls who pray to him.

I dreamed I was going with Charles Barkley last night


I don't know if you all know who Charles Barkley is, but he was once a big basketball superstar in Arizona and almost singlehandedly got us to the finals of the NBA. He came here from Philadelphia and was regarded somewhat as a troublemaker, as he is still is, having just got arrested in Arizona for a DUI. He was known for a rather unadmirable remark after causing trouble, "I am not a role model." Well, it seems that his behavior now of non role model material is hurting him worse than anyone. He has been put on suspension temporarily from his analyst duties on TNT of the NBA and his sponsors from a commercial have dropped him as not being enough of a role model for their customers I presume.
What is more Mr. Barkley told the cops that the reason he ran a red light was because he was in a hurry to meet up with someone not his wife for sex. I can't imagine what possessed him to tell the cops that since this remark has been highly publicized. Barkley did have a strange penchant for being brutally honest, but wasn't this going too far?
In spite of all that I am obviously still very fond of Mr. Barkley or I wouldn't dream I was going with him, and why, because he is the funniest basketball player
ever to play in the NBA to my mind. I can't even describe how funny he was. So he is funny and it sounds like from this arrest, he might soon be single, or if he isn't he ought to be.
I did go on to dream that a bunch of younger ladies were after Mr. Barkley and I was not able to hang on to him very long, plus he acted like he was about to lose his temper every time we hit an ordinary little rough spot. He does have quite a temper. But the dream ended with me feeling that he and I did have good rapport and we would always get along no matter what.
I am sure he would appreciate these white boots I just got out and started wearing because it got cold enough in Phoenix for covered shoes. I didn't look but I might have been wearing them in one of our dates.
I hate to think I will have to drop down to such risky younger men as Charles Barkley to find anyone in remotely good enough shape to be functional. He must be twenty five years younger. My dream is also probably trying to tell me that I have about as good a chance of dating that younger guy I had my eye on in here as I do of dating Charles Barkley.
I have just ignored Pierre, my past companion now deceased, so he appears to have retreated to a distance. I appreciated his concern, but I can't see concentrating on the dead as long as there is any life left in the old bones. The frostbite has finally cleared some from my toes. I could probably even dance.
Poor old Doc is going to the doctor today. I swear he gets older every day, but now that I have stopped looking on food as entertainment I am getting more frisky. While he has all but stopped walking except for bare necessities. I dont know what to say. Men have their ways, and they will do as they please.
Oh please if you have a moment go and visit Kelli of Thoughts of a poor white women on my blog list as her sister died very unexpectedly and she has been in a state of shock. She happened to call her mother who told her.
My son Raymond has now begun intense rehearsals on his one man show, "Bohemian Cowboy" in Los Angeles. Kurt Brungardt, a long time director of his plays, has arrived in town. I was glad to read he had time to watch the Cardinals and go to the beach in the recent hot spell that hit Los Angeles. His blog Cowboys and Bohemians is also on my blog list.
I seem to have all but left Phoenix myself as I skim the Internet in search of friends' blogs and make videos for Youtube. My friends do not live in Phoenix anymore, and I did have a hard time finding friends here with my interests. But three of my kids still live here, so as long as they are here, I will have a motive for living here. My sister Linda is preparing to move to San Francico where she will be tending her two grandkids some of the day. (They are both in school) I hope all goes well with her move, as she is still experiencing numbness at the end of her fingers and she says a kind of weakness throughout her body that does not seem normal to her. If it gets worse she will have to try harder to find out what is plagueing her. I think the stress of foreclosure and thoughts of moving might be affecting her by now, and once she gets moved, I think she will start to feel better. Anyway, I sincerely hope so.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

5- I was incarcerated for implying military philosophy adversely affected mentally ill soldier husband


If you go up against the killing philosophy of the military you do so at your peril. I went up against it because my first husband seemed to be cracking up in the military and was talking about suicide as well as targeting me for murder. I had to try to talk to his commanding officer before I left him, because if he committed suicide after I left, I would have felt I did not do enough. The grandmother who raised him had just died and he did not even ask to go to her funeral since he had just got leave to come to Utah when I had our first son, who was only 2 months old. He did not get to go back and be with family. I knew he probably wouldn't have been given leave again, so I felt there was nothing for me to do but try to let his commanding officer know he was cracking up.
This proved to be a very risky step for me, as I ended up incarcerated in a psych ward instead of him. It seems I had asked too much of men in authority to help him, to concede that the military could be a bad influence on men inclined to violence. However, the commanding officer did act on the matter about six months later when he told my troubled husband he would be discharged honorably I believe on a hardship basis. So we citizens sometimes have to protest a killing philosophy that does not deal with reality. Because not to could lead to a greater disaster. After that my husband stayed away from the military and I continued to stay away from psychiatrists and men of authority who might incarcerate me.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

January Sanctity of Life and anniversary of Roe vs. Wade month, and the 18th is Pro Life Sunday

I want to flag Hunybea4him and her Open Journal, which you will see on my sidebar on my blog list. She has started a series on abortion, and her story will move you, her reasons, I promise you.
I have had some questioning my comparing the deaths in the Nazi camps to the deaths by abortion. There are many horror stories about abortion deaths, but they are suppressed. There was no graphic information about the death camps going out to the world. What was going on there was hidden as long as possible. We have gotten used to having the piles and piles of dead embryos hidden from our sight, whisked away, so we don't have to see or think about them. This is how brain washing works. You don't see and are not encouraged to think about what might upset you. But violent death is violent death, bloodshed is bloodshed, no matter how old or how young the victims. We can choose to believe these children are not really human beings, but can we tell this to God? I doubt it. We can support abortion here. We have our free will.
I say it is wrong to take the life you have conceived. The child is now in existence and it is up to the mother to protect it, not destroy it, and she will suffer grave psychic damage I believe if she does do it. She will introduce death into her own body. After that she will be living with death, and that is not good. She will never feel or be as healthy again once she has aborted a child. The slightest thing will surface anguish, no matter how deep awareness of the death is buried.
I do not want fame in a country where abortion is legal. That fame would be trivalized by such a belief. We have trivialized life at the beginning and so diminished us all.
Life is always going to be hard, so why do we buy the idea that abortion will make it easier? It is better to do the right thing than burden the conscience more than can be faced.

4- "The Reader" goes too easy on woman SS guard's decision to work in the death camps


In my opinion, opposition and resistence is necessary when a killing policy takes hold of the country, which in our country has been abortion. Brainwashing consists of convincing everyone that a killing policy is absolutely necessary, and there is going to be punishment for those who insist that is not so, once that killing policy is in place. There are all too many resemblances between the extermination policies of the nazis and the extermination policy of the so called civilized ountries when it comes to abortion. Brainwashing is insidious and gradually making resistence as difficult as possible. So I had a little trouble understanding why this movie was made. I felt the same way about the novel when I read it some years ago.

Thank you, Connie, for this Special Lady horse and little girl

Connie, this so touched me, because I had such compassion for the horses when I was a tiny girl. My dad put me on a horse with him when I was a baby. My first memory is of seeing the Navahos race their horses so joyously through a big pond by our homestead house. I was not yet two but I recogized the greater sense of joy and fun they had compared to my dad and his cowboys. My favorite picture when I was small was of the horse bent over standing against the elements and all the troubles that beset him with his very existence threatened, with his Indian rider bent over him, too, also a dying race. How sad I felt that the men closest to nature must perish in the wake of the juggernaut settlers that represented progress, as the horse age inevitably passed and gave way to the machine age. I thanked my maker that he put me down where I could interact with horses until I was thirteen years old, and summers after that, until I finally left that wild and primitive country to go into exile. I think I will keep this snag above for a while as the title to my blog.

3- Hollywood shuns subjects that are too controversial as not profitable


When it is all about profit, the most difficult subjects just never get addressed in Hollywood adequately. So the power players in Hollywood tend to be those who are most focused on success rather than on what is good for people. The profit motive is self serving only, too many times, and we have certainly witnessed an usual meltdown from this selfish philosophy of life recently. Selfishness just got the better of people.
If you take stands on issues that are difficult ro maintain, you may just never get ahead, and that result does not speak well for our progress. I think women's causes and crimes perpetuated against women and children are never explored enough. Why because defending the rights of children and women who must struggle for equality in pay for their effort in a male power oriented world, is simply not as profitable, but if we protect our children we are protectng our future. Making the fast buck does not. Oh is the country paying for our short sightedness. Will we do better in the future? Well, yes, until we forget.

Monday, January 12, 2009

2- Gerry finds best blithering idiot possible in Doc


This was Doc's kinder nicer title, an improvement on mine with the word best. I did have a bad day over the weekend of extreme frustration at my plight of being trapped with the average American male over 70, who if he is available, it is because he is overweight, alcoholic, a smoker and maybe a drugger. He does not want to change because that might mean giving into a woman. No, he is going to be himself whatever that means until all hope is lost. I am begging Hollywood to make more truthful honest movies about what the masses are up to. And they want health care for the worker when the out of shape seniors and disabled are on their way to breaking the system, along with health care legions who are charging big money to keep saving their lives? How is Obama going to change the out-of-control ways of the American people. Well, at least he is taking a good look at the situation. Which I think is more than Bush did. And I am trying to take a cold hard look at us, too, after an evening in the never never land of Hollywood.

1- Thoughts of the unfamous while watching the Golden Globes


Doc says this is a rant, I say my thoughts were stirred by watching Hollywood and the foreign press entertain us with still another award show. Very mixed emotions I had to be sure.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Arizonans beside themselves with excitement over a great football win


Above is a photo of Phoenix abuilding which we are still doing, but everybody stops to enjoy great football of which we have had far too little in past years. So I have never witnessed such frenzies of excitement as are going on here now. A great football game to me is like a great night at the theater. And this one had everything. Our quarterback performed like the old pro he is and all the other stars never had a better game. Everybody did what they came to do spectacularly well, and the poor Panthers looked like they had been blindsided by a foe that nobody expected to win. We didn't even expect it after a dismal record in the last few games on the east coast. A few weeks ago I thought one of the cardinal players who said last stop superbowl was flying a little too high in expectations for his team. But now that they are just one game away from going to the superbowl they have made a believer out of me.
I learned to watch and enjoy football with my sons, so I am just about as excited as they are. My sister Linda is a fan, too, and was having a football party to her house with her companion Leo and some of his family. Linda has been in an uproar for some time so this game was a welcome relief, as it was for many with bad economy troubles in Arizona. Her house is going into foreclosure. She is unable to work because of a mysterious ailment, so she can't pay the mortgage. She is getting ready to move to San Francisco, and will be leaving her partner Leo of four years. So leaving a house, a companion, and a city where you have resided for many years is not easy. She has acquired a lot of 'stuff,' and should not be lifting much at all to move it. We are going to be holding our breath to see if she gets through this move without injuring herself worse. Many and many a person has hurt themselves moving. Linda hates to ask people to help her, but she has got a strong son and a nephew, my son Dan, to do the heavy lifting. Dan has moved 3 times this past year, and he will move out of Linda's house when she goes, where he has been living to try to help with the mortgage, but Linda was one of those whose mortgage is just too high now to keep up.
I am looking forward now to watching the rest of the playoffs today. I was thinking of going to a mantinee movie but football will be a great show, so I better not miss it.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Riding our new fast transit and thoughts about attractions


This photo was taken just across from the complex where I live. I was coming back from the Farmer's Market and snapped this picture. It went by so fast I did not catch the front of it as I intended. Anyway, I rode it for the first time yesterday north to the end of the line, and then I walked over and shopped for a few things at the big Target up there and came back. It was so quiet! It was packed when I got on, a lot of people standing, so I think it is going to get used. Phoenix feels like a big city now for sure with our own fast transit.
I got vine ripened tomatoes at the farmer's market today and a head of loose leaf lettuce. Doc made a bean 'glop' as he calls it and gave me a container of cooked beans to add to some soup I already have made. I am going to fix a great salad after a while and toast. For dessert I think I will cook some rice and raisins to have with applesauce.
Doc wanted to know all about what was on my mind today and if 'the dead guy' was still with me. I said no, I could only think about the dead a limited time, and now I am thinking about another living guy who has been in here about a year. He looks to be in very good shape without a drinking problem. I have had my eye on him for about a year, and I think he has become aware of me, but he is probably ten or twelve years younger so that might be a problem, but it looks like I am going to have to go younger to get a functional male. They seem to conk out faster than females. I have found out that you do not show interest in a younger guy which intrigues him since he is used to women throwing themselves at him. If you continue to ignore him he may come around.
I wasn't going to tell Doc about this attraction, but he questioned me so closely I saw no point in keeping it a secret from him, as he would have to know if anything should happen. I saw this guy last summer in the pool. Since I am about the only woman in this place who goes in the pool he may have gotten some interested then. He is one of the few guys I have ever seen in the pool as well. Both out of shape men and women let every little thing stop them from going in the pool when that is what they need.
One other guy goes in there and swims laps but he is way younger than I am and I feel no attraction to him. He is like a kid to me. He likes to splash women, too, just like a kid, only not me of course. I am old enough to be his mother.
I do think it is more practical to be attracted to the living than to the dead. What can they do? If addiction helped cause their deaths, they will have to pay by not being able to interact with the living. I appreciate Pierre saying he would be there for me when it is my time to leave the earth. I will need someone who knows the terrain then.
I am going to try to get out of making videos with Doc as long as I can. I have so given up on this relationship, but hey, you cannot be mean to people just because they are addicted. We are all addicted to something! Doc sneers at smokers, druggies, and fatties, but that sounds stupid, coming from him.
I do think that there are a lot of deep seated reasons why our society has become so addicted, and we are going to have to address a lot of them before we can get healthier. I was watching a youtube video yesterday which said that smoking and overeating are now the leading causes of death. Each one causes more deaths than the next seven causes of death combined Alcoholism is the 3rd leading cause of death. I was surprised to see smoking so high on the list. I knew obesity was coming up fast just from what has been happening here in this complex. The disabled are now as apt to be obese as not. Obesity is costing millions in health care among the elderly.
My sister Ann was probably at her heaviest when her pancreas went kaput, so overweight combined with high stress which she was experiencing in her school teaching job practically did her in. The problem started with a gall bladder attack which is often the result of eating too many fatty foods. I remember a number of overweight women in my childhood having to have their gall bladders out who were absolutely addicted to butter. Butter in everything. Whipped cream. Rich desserts like pie They all raised good gardens but buttered healthy food up so much they all got too heavy. But I noticed the three sisters who got heavy in one family were the homeliest The prettiest sister never did get fat, so I think that if people do not fit the general criteria of good looking, with the right length of nose, etc, they are made to feel homely if not down right ugly in our society.
People cannot help being born with long sharp noses like Dad's or fat ones like Grandma's so we as a society need to learn to be more tolerant of variation. I don't quite know how we are going to do that, but I don't think that plastic surgery and new noses ever quite works on that person who may have had another nose so long she is never going to feel beautiful with a surgically enhanced one. Oprah for example has been enhanced by surgery on her nose to the point that she is down right beautiful but it is possible she does not feel beautiful inside, and knows that a lot of women are not going to be able to afford operations on their noses, even if they were so inclined.
I never could have done. My sister with the long nose had hers shaped into a movie star version, but I think she has trouble feeling she is as beautiful as she can look. I make a lot of jokes about mine, but I am wondering if that attractive guy can get past this fat nose since his is more nicely shaped. I think Doc has been handicapped by his superiority so much that I am not even interested in him anymore should he reform. He has just said too much about the defects that keep me from being a beautiful woman in his eyes. I think what is his problem?? But whatever it is, it is incurable. He just does not have it in him to work seriously on a complete relationship with a woman who is not what he thinks is his physical match. My ankles are way too big boned, too. I have always been judged by my ankles.
Is that shallow or what? And Doc wants intelligence as well. No wonder he has given up on finding this perfect woman and decided to drink himself to death without pause, slowly but surely.
Me, I am still struggling to live healthy and be healthy and hope to find a man who can think better about looks than he can. We will see.

Herrad

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