Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Why I made the decision to talk about my dad's gay side even though I might have to stay away from Utah a while!

I did not talk about my perceptions that my father had a homosexual affair with my molester for years. He got jealous and angry at him so I thought that was mainly why he targeted me. People just did not talk about such a taboo subject in those days as homosexual affairs, especially if the man was married. That resulted in such secrecy that even molestation involving a man and a boy was not talked about because nice people's sensibilities might be offended. Hmm, so how are you doing to detect it and do anything about it if you can't even think about or talk about what it means to be homosexual. Homosexual feelings have been with us I am sure for thousands of years. I am inclined to think that in places where a religion is very dominating the taboo might be worse. Right now accusations of molestation by Catholic priests are surfacing in countries like Ireland, Germany, the Netherlands, and Mexico because grown men have finally broken their silence and come forward to say they were molested as children or underage teens.
In Utah the early days of polygamy created an unbalance caused by men taking more than one wife. There weren't enough to go around to all the boys born creating a phenomenon known as 'the lost boys.' The present Fundamentalist LDS branch that still practices polygamy has many 'lost boys' who are just now telling about their expulsion from the church ranks. The early church was very loath to admit anything that might be seen as a fault that polygamy caused which tendency stayed with the main branch of the church even when the practice of polygamy was given up.
Most Christian churches use what they call biblical authority to condemn the homosexual particularly which I think it is wrong. Adults having sex with other adults of the same sex is going to be practiced regardless of attitude, so all that happens is that a giant abyss starts opening up between the 'straight' and the gay worlds. All over the US young homosexuals feel forced to flee to big cities where they can find others to associate with who will accept them without constant condemnation.
I felt forced to flee into exile myself just because I befriended bisexuals and thought the policies of condemnation exacerbated molestation problems rather than helped. In fact if the homosexual feels condemned no matter how he or she came to those feelings, whether born with them or molested into them, the feelings of bitterness and frustration could lead to repeating these very acts of molestation on reaching adulthood. Judgmental attitudes cause grief. They are a form of prejudice.
I feared my even talking about the molesting would result in the murder of the molester. This was I thought too severe a punishment. Many may molest due to alcoholic behavior. Nearly all the people who molest are eventually going to get out of prison should they be arrested and sentenced. Molesting ranges from mild to severe. People need to get more involved in studying what policies are effective. Squeamish holier than thou attitudes toward homosexuality do not help the ones who were molested until homosexual feelings were awakened in them.

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