Friday, April 23, 2010

Sunrise in HD TV in different parts of the world

Every morning when I go down to Doc's we watch "Sunrise" in different parts of the world on his 46 inch TV. This is a pleasant activity, no words, just the sounds of of nature. I wanted him to take a photo of me where we went this morning.
Someone downstairs gave me a New York Times he got free from going to breakfast to the college dorm cafeteria. I also bought the Arizona Republic which featured a great many arguments pro and con about the Immigration bill that is coming before Governor Janet Brewer to sign. A number are urging her to veto the bill which they think will mean that people will be checked for legality at any given time. Some responsible for the bill say no it still means you must have probable cause that is a reason for asking someone to prove they are in this country legally. Some think it will discourage the tourist trade because they will think we are prejudiced.
Montini, longtime Arizona Republic columnist prints a letter from someone of Mexican origins who thinks this will signal a change in how people like her whose family has been here for generations will be treated.
But I did think something had to be done to stop the floods of illegal immigrants coming here. This change has been a long time coming and everyone knew it was going to be hard to implement a change.
I doubt very much that Governor Brewer will veto the bill just because I think that with Arizona in such a hole with their finances she will have no choice but to sign a bill that is designed to discourage many in Mexico from continuing to believe the U.S. is the promised land and coming here to try to exist illegally. Illegals have received what ended up being free health care here and they have been granted food stamps. Well, such benefits would really end with this bill. But there is the argument that Arizona can no longer afford to be so generous to illegals as they have been in the past. Measures to prevent these benefits from being granted have been more half hearted in the past. We have not wanted to deny destitute people food and health care. Emergency treatment to the hospitals cut off for people who have been able to take advantage of this is tough.
The constant flow of illegal immigrants has long been happening in Arizona, but now due to a deep recession and other reasons, many believe this generosity must be curtailed.
So Arizona struggles with the increased problems that come with being a border state to Mexico.
I tested Doc out this morning to see what he would do if I fell in love with someone I met on the Internet. After all, I have been going global in my efforts to find a more sober companion than he is. He is hardly a companion at all. I have never been one to be content with a relationship that is going nowhere. I spend many hours by myself as he is too impaired by alcohol intake by afternoon for me to tolerate.
I have all the qualities that would make a long distance relationship possible. I can even travel quite freely to the spirit realms and have many years of practice at telepathic relationships. These men did not even know how to use the internet, but were very good at sending their thoughts and picking up mine. My last telepathic relationship ended when he got into drinking and doing drugs. Then he became just like Doc in his impaired ability to think let alone send his thoughts anywhere.
With the Internet to help a telepathic relationship should be within anyone's reach. I also have an online phone and can call anyone in the world and talk to them at a very low cost. I can't even find anyone to call, since the husbands have all retired in my family and are constantly underfoot, so object to my sisters talking on the phone. Doc is the only one who calls me. I have told him and told him that his drinking so limits our relationship for him not to be surprised when I tell him I have fallen in love with someone else. I fell in love with his talents and intellect, but his body was always so impaired that it did not figure in our relationship at all. That has never been satisfactory to me, and I think five years is long enough to put up with it.
He has willed me his 46 in TV. I would undoubtedly lose that plus my camera privileges and use of his big new computer. I only own one fourth of the camera, but could probably still lose it if he decided to befriend another companion and make videos with her. He claims I could still come and make videos no matter what happens and put them on the Internet through his computer. But something is wrong with the camera which may be old batteries, but he won't buy any new ones. It takes longer and longer for it to focus and the repair people want $200 upfront before they will even look at it. One of these days it might not focus at all!
My son Raymond is angling to do theater in LA. I am very excited about his prospects there. I want to be able to take a trip to LA myself if I think I can get one of my plays done there, too. Of course this is in the future a ways, but I have got at least 6 plays I could submit without a problem. I am convinced Doc is not going to quit drinking so I want to free myself to be able to connect to people interested in theater and serious about it. Doc is not serious about anything. Five years is plenty long to give him the chance to change. He has shown no signs of doing it, so he is receiving his notice.
We will still continue to be friends if possible, but I am sure my pulling away from him in the love department will make a difference. I am a woman who has always needed to fall in love. I was as a matter of fact in love with this other guy the whole time practically I have been with Doc. He got evicted a year ago. I have only seen him once since then. So my love for him has died. It was not a satisfactory relationship either since he was a serial flirt, but he managed to keep my feelings involved for some time. As long as he was in here and sober he was able to distract my feelings if nothing else, since Doc was always inebriated and just could not quite do it. Weird things happen when alcohol is involved.
But one reason I moved on to Doc was because I felt this other guy could not be trusted to focus on one woman. I did not quite have it for him. He was a bad alcoholic, too, who might at any time, lose his grip on sobriety, which is what happened. He got another girlfriend and through some an upset in this relationship he lost his grip on sobriety.
I knew once he was gone from here that would probably be the last I would ever see him, and it pretty much has been, but he was a very charismatic man. Also very gifted. He was a serial flirt because women had only to talk to him a time or two to fall in love with him. He had a superstar personality, but could not handle his own ability to attract women. I think what he did not do is decide that honesty was necessary. Complete honesty. You just did not know what he was thinking. He was just too prone to see still another woman he wanted to flirt with. I don't see how any woman could handle that quality in a man well. I am not going to give loyalty when I can't get it. Doc was loyal but he would not give sobriety. He is not a mean drunk, but he can't really think well and do business as an alcoholic. So that is that.


Connie said...

No-you can't change someone,nor should anyone go into a relationship thinking they can.
We are who we are pimples and all. Love us or leave us.
Doc has a lot of qualities you need,just not the drinking.
No,it is part of him and a part he isn't willing to give matter what.
If not your love interest,I hope you remain the closest of friends..
I really think Doc needs someone to spend time with and I really don't think he seeks out friendships...

Amrita said...

I would love to watch the sunrise too.

Doc 's TV is gorgeous.

Hope your relationship with him does not falter. Too bad when things go bad between friends. Perhaps you can still remain a platonic friend. But the other woman might not like it. Is he seeing someone else?
Too bad about the camera. If you have video on your cell phone you can do short videos through that.


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