Wednesday, October 6, 2010

I was thrilled to receive a warm message from my long time democratic friend, even though we sometimes clash on political issues

Sheria is the black lawyer from North Carolina I encountered in the blogging world early on when I was on AOL. She was always very appreciative of my videos. I remember sending her the whole play Aunt Santhea which she swore she watched with friends and they all got a kick out of it. She has probably been one of the best appreciators of my playwriting efforts in the blogging world. But we do seriously differ in our views of legalized abortion. She supports my contention that the high abortion numbers must be brought down, but she feels the country is not ready to support the pregnancies in a humane way, especially when mothers are living in poverty and welfare would have to be involved.
I know that those who are strongly pro life must be prepared to meet all the needs of the babies they are trying to save and their mothers, if they are to persuade them not to opt for abortion.
I know that Roe vs Wade will not be overturned until enough people are ready to deal with what will follow when abortion is no longer legal, but the 40 Days for Life movement has been very impressive to me because their avowed goal is to save one baby at a time, and they are directing the mothers to places where they might find help with the pregnancy. I think pro life activists are very aware that they must be charting answers for the mothers, and some of this must be long term help, that is ideas about how to continue to see that mothers who opt to save their babies are supported.
I have stated my position a number of times to Sheria as a pro life democrat and I hope I will be able to have more discussions on what must be done to bring abortion numbers down. This is a goal that everyone can be working on. I am hoping that eventually the democratic party will recognize the pro life democrats in their midst, so that both factions can work on bringing abortion numbers down. I think it is unfair that pro life democrats are treated like pariahs in their own party by some of the members of the pro choice faction.
Some pro choice members of the party have shown themselves unwilling to compromise on abortion in any way, seeing that as a threat to all abortions. I do not believe that the astronomical numbers of abortions can be diminished with that attitude. The idea that every abortion is a good abortion needs to be abandoned if progress is to be made. Recognition that every abortion is a death would go further in really trying to look at abortion with an eye on how women can be convinced not to use it, if at all possible, even though it is legal. The idea is to work on recognizing the drawbacks of abortion even though it is legal. Otherwise saying the numbers are too high is an empty observation without any conviction behind it and willingness to do significant work in lowering the numbers of deaths.
I have always thought that the democratic party showed its strength with a greater recognition of the injustices done to the minorities, in dealing with prejudice, and a determination to make things better for them with the great battles to grant more civil rights to those still not getting equal opportunities and enduring segregation in many forms. No one can deny that the democratic party helped bring about changes in job opportunities, education opportunities, and more for those still suffering from treatment similar to what had been meted out to them in the days of slavery. Now suddenly all democrats are supposed to be for abortion rights even to trying to pass laws to make them 'untouchable', that is not to be altered in any way. This hard boiled attitude has not been a characteristic of the democratic party until abortion was legalized and to my mind it is not worthy of a party that has accomplished so much that was so difficult and costly for many of the leaders.
It is no wonder that the minorities, blacks, Hispanics, Native Americans, and others feel a debt of gratitude and loyalty to the party, no matter where the leadership of the party takes them. But I grew up with a strong antipathy to abortion, and some women in my family were 'progressives' who practiced it. I grew up seeing the other side of the coin, what it did to the woman who had them. That's why I was against it almost from the time my intrepid mother got a catheter from my progressive aunt and did one on herself. I listened to my mother talk about it many times and grew absolutely petrified she was going to do another one on herself and kill herself. Then I saw a sister become a progressive, remaining stoutly pro choice right up until her relatively early death from ovarian cancer. I blamed her abortion some because I did not think she took care of herself quite as well after that, she became a little more suicidal, and reckless, causing her decision not to remain under the care of a cancer doctor because she was thought to be cancer prone. He would have taken out her ovaries during a hysterectomy. The surgeon she had instead did not, and one year later, the ovary he should have taken out at her age, and considered a higher risk for cancer than some women because of cystic breast disease, developed cancer and it spread before it was detected. She had also abandoned religion along the way, which comforted my mother who repented of her abortion and did penance. Pro choice caused my sister I thought to be more hard boiled.
I saw many women in the more religious society in Mormon Utah manage their lives so they did not have to have an abortion. There are strengths in religion we must recognize as well as the blind spots. All religions have both I think.
The religion strengthened these women, there is no doubt, but in late years we have also seen the democratic party develop attitudes that have been perceived as hostile to religion. I left the Mormon Church because of attitudes toward homosexuality which I felt caused far too many men with those feelings to go under cover, marry, and live lives of secrets and lies.
Again I felt the democratic party was more supportive of gay causes with a deeper understanding of how difficult it is to give up those feelings once they are part of the psyche. Gays who have come out generally feel that the republican party, perceived as the more religious one, is more hostile to their needs than the democratic party is. We have seen in recent years the powerful Mormon Church waging war on the supporters of gay marriage, yet in Utah I thought married homosexual men with children were way too common. I also thought that what you do not want to see going on, you don't. I lived all over the state. This is a human problem that sometimes the 'religious' refuse to recognize or think is way too easily solved.
If you persecute the homosexual you will get cover-up in return with some who do not have the raw courage it takes to come out, admit the truth, and stand up for it. Many times leaving the state is required for some Utah gays to have peace of mind. And that is simply too hard for some people to do so they opt not to come out.
I left the state over my gay father. I just found it too hard to talk about what I knew about the life he led as a married man. I felt victimized for being close enough to my father to detect the truth. I was penalized for being bright enough to pick up on complex human behavior. Too many could not handle what I had observed even as child, and molested by a man I thought was having one of numerous affairs with my father. I wasn't supposed to see, talk, about or recognize such behavior. Many girls are suppressed into not ever being sure of anything they see if it might be a criticism of the Mormon state of Utah. I felt forced to hide my knowledge of molestation of younger boys by older ones and even by adult males. As well as concealing my own molestation by this man for years.
If the 'religious' do not want to see and deal with the truth, what is the strength in their religion?
So I feel that the many who have felt they were persecuted by the religious have the right to be listened to. Quotations from the bible cannot be a substitute for reason. Complex human behaviors requires good thinking in order to tell just what we can expect from people. We have to be realistic in our expectations or we will simply be asking for people to lie to us.
I work to see that the democratic party remains a reasoning body with leaders who are willing to see all sides to the issue in order to react wisely. I also work to see that the republicans are a reasoning body because it takes us all to make this country great. We can't constantly fight and insult one another and get very far.
So I am thanking my democratic friend for her message of friendship despite all we have disagreed about in the past and may disagree about in the future.

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