Thursday, December 4, 2008

Girl and horse on a trip back into the past

Connie sent me this graphic, thank you, Connie, but when I try to send her an e-mail AOL says her box is full, so Connie if you see this, please send me your new e-mail address if you have one. This graphic seems apropos with my activities this morning, more trips back into the past to try to understand a lot of troubling things that happened then. Doc and I did some more videos on the subject of the gay gene which I started thinking about a lot when it began to be talked about. I wondered if my dad had the gay gene or if his homosexual activities were occupational as well as connected to his alcoholism and the loss of inhibitions. I thought my love of horses and cow punching with my dad put me in harms way. Since he had to do that work from the time he was a little child, his sexuality may have been shaped by the camping out with hired men who had no qualms about targeting a boy to satisfy sexual desires. My grandfather acted like he was too preoccupied with his own tendencies in that direction to be too protective. He was so defensive nobody could talk to him about stuff like that. My mother told him if he did not stop attacking my father with his bull whip when he was over 30 years old she would not stay with him. So my grandfather never went after my dad again with his bull whip. My dad told me that everytime he got mad at this boys if he had his whip he would wrap it around their bodies. Once he went to hit his son Reed who was in the throes of a nervous breakdown, and my dad rode between them and took the blows. My dad also had trouble forgiving my grandfather for killing his pet bulldog when he would not let go of a calf he was chasing. He knew sic 'em, but bulldogs have trouble letting go once they have clamped on. Tempers ran high when they were cutting cattle. Cutting cattle with my dad was something I tried never to do if I could help it, he screamed and hoillered so loud The only time he ever hit me, so hard he knocked me down, we were doing something with cattle at the big corral and I didn't understand his order to bring the horse forward. Those were the days!

1 comment:

Connie said...

Hi Gerry-I know-my AOL is always full with tubes and elements and such,LOL.I started getting them on my yahoo account also but it usually isn't as full []
Glad you liked it and it came in handy for you.
Ya know I luv ya & Doc


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