Friday, December 5, 2008

IV- Gay gene or molestation? How do we find out when the true answer might be important?


This is the last of this series on the gay gene. I had to question whether the gay gene was the main factor in the behavior of my father and his father after marriage, causing them to have homosexual affairs. I thought it had more to do with the ranching occupation as it was done in those days, with days of camping out taking care of the cattle on the ranges. This threw men and boys together without the presence of women, with the boys becoming sexual objects if they were along as well as adult hired men. I think claims of a gay gene has unfortunately stopped continued investigation of what molestation causes in children, especially when it is prolonged, thus possibly giving it the chance to change sexual orientation. We have been amiss in addressing child molestation period.
We are not recognizing that being molested may cause the victim to repeat the victimizing of boys on adulthood, thus I thought that my father was capable of victimizing an underage teen if opportunity arose. I needed a lot of help in talking to him about the problem, but I did not get it.
The biggest pedofile in the country where I lived who molested many underage teens and chldren said that two years of being molested when he was 5 years old, by a teen turned him into a homosexual (pedofile). He wondered if he would not have been 'normal' had this not happened. This notorious pedofile was not ever arrested once for molesting or sexual assaults because the parents and community could not handle the child molester. They just ignored that aspect of his criminal career! How often does this happen with parents' lack of awareness of the pedofiles' ways of getting to their children? Just because the subject is unpleasant and they do not think they need to be aware? Mothers and grandmothers could live their whole lives without being aware of assaults on their children. This is why I could not get help talking to my dad. His mother, I thought, wanted to live in a fantasy world, that is until her sons started dying tragic deaths, and then it was too late to help them. She more or less came back in a dream and told me that this was her biggest problem, not 'understanding what had been going on with her sons.' I agreed. She remained powerless because of her desire to remain ignorant. Why I had to keep quiet so many years about being molested. I couldn't find anybody I could tell.

2 comments:

Yasmin said...

Hi Gerry,

you and I have had many discussions about this when we were on AOL, and I agree it is an important subject however, whilst I know you have some personal experience of molestation, and therefore have a valid opinion.

There are several theories that you often put forth which I do not agree with, Paedophiles are interested in children in a sexual manner, and that is regardeless of the childs gender, although some may have their own preferences, they are Paedophiles whichever way you look at it, I personally have never heard of a gay paedophile, just because this person targets male children does not actually mean that he is gay.
Often children who get caught up in this heinous crime, are in fact in a viscious circle of secrecy and abuse, and are ofetn taught to target others, so it just continues to escalate, so in fact it becomes learned behaviour,and does not mean that their sexual orientation has been changed, which of course doesn't make it right.

Unfortunately we live in a world where child abuse is rife, and the powers that be seeminly cannot do anything about it and I agree people should be much more alert to the dangers that this crime presents. Paedophiles are dangerous predadtors, and we must remeber that children are their prey, and paedophiles come from all areas of society/community, so forget gay, straight labels you cannot apply that to them, they are PAEDOPHILES,period.

Yasmin

Cathy said...

The most ironic part of this subject is how quiet people get when it involves serious change. JUST RAISE YOUR SONS WITH LOVE! That helps. Oh yea we see and hear people protesting if a registered pedarast is living in their neighborhood, while our children watch how we deal with people who have this illness. It affects them. Everything they see and hear does. I know you can't be born bad, but it does start very soon after your first breath, and if a child is raised in hate, fear, angry sexual attacks, spite, that child will get his revenge one day. Same child raised in a loving, honest home becomes what he was taught - a loving, caring man. So it's not genetic IMHO, but homosexuality does seem to have its genesis in something from birth - whether it's nature or nurture is anyone's good guess.


Herrad

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