I decided I could be a little more specific about what I thought was going on at the University of Utah in regarding to married professors I thought were shadow men, that is they were like my father, living a double life as gay men. I became determined I was going to start surfacing some way or another my true self and true thoughts, that is the personality that suspected my dad was living a double life since the age of five, having been molested by two of his partners turned jealous and revengeful. Poorer men were very envious of my father's opportunities to acquire property as the son of a rich man. Would you believe I had been unable to find anyone I could tell all this to. It just was not safe!
In fact, I have been afraid to go into detail about these powerful men of the time at the University. I was even afraid at first to call my dad gay. I could picture him reacting with his characteristic fit of rage.
I felt that the women and the children became even greater victims of their suppression than the men. The men had to get very mean to protect their secrets. Which is why I did not dare talk about this for many years. The main reason I feel I have not been published. There are still too many shadow men nobody wants to tangle with or offend. They may have money and power as my dad did. So honesty cannot be their policy, they feel, so they are not appreciative of anyone's attempts to be honest, which became my goal at the University of Utah. Now you may be getting a better idea of why I nearly ended up dead. I will post the first two videos. I have made four more trying to go into depth about how I struggled to find somebody, anybody, I could speak my truth to. I came up with an ingenious plan eventually.
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