I decided that since we have a long day and night ahead of us on election day, it is a good time to talk about what happens when we die. John Edwards who you have probably all seen on a TV program called "Crossing Over" has a book out called "One Last Time" which I read yesterday with intense interest. I do intend to come back, so I want to find out as much as I can from these mediums on how to do it. He says that when those spirits who have passed find out their relatives are considering going to him so they can deal with the agony of their deaths some of these spirits immediately start contacting him from that side. They have even come to his house and woke him up with messages they want him to give to their suffering loved ones.
John says one of the most notable and persistent ones during his years of mediumship was a 16 year old teen named Andy who was killed in a bike accident. His parents were so devastated they could hardly function. Andy went to a lot of trouble to provide signs to them that he was okay, he was hanging out with his grandfather and other relatives. I could hardly believe the urgent messages he gave to John, waking hm up out of s sound sleep. He also says another spirit he saw quite a lot of was a 3 year old boy who drowned in the backyard pool when his parents took their eyes off him a moment.
That story was so sad. His mother dropped something made of glass on the floor and was very intent on getting up every sliver of glass so her 9 year old and 3 year old would not step on it. Ironically while she was beng so conscientious, she lost her focus momentarily over the whereabouts of the 3 year old. When they went to find him, they discovered him face up in the pool. They had to turn off life support because it had been too long and he could not be brought back. According to John, this was a shock to the boy as well as to the Mom, but his mother felt so guilty and responsible she just could not recover, so John said this boy came to him for a number of years requesting help. He would get a glimpse of him here and there. He became a familiar sight. Finally after quite a few years, John said he and the boy Mikey agreed that it was time to move on, the parents had somewhat recovered from this tragedy in their lives.
John said that was why he became a medium, because some deaths were so devastating that family members were in danger of going down, too. Which seems like quite a good purpose for being a medium. John said he came from a big Italian family with a number of members interested in psychic phenomonon including his uncle and his mom. His mom died quite suddenly, as my last companion did, of lung cancer which had of course been progressing quite a while without her realizing it. He said she told him that she would return to give him a sign she was all right. And this was how she did it. He dreamed that he saw her in a purple coat she had had for quite a few years. This dream caused them to look for the purple coat which they could not find. It had just disappeared. Some time later he happened to have had contact with a dry cleaner his mom sometimes used, who said, "Oh, by the way, I have something for you." He handed him a package with the purple coat in it. He said, "Your mom paid for this coat to be cleaned and then never came to pick it up, so here it is!" Albeit unconsciouly, he thinks his mom realized the purple coat was still in the cleaners, so she came to him in a dream wearing the purple coat which called it to his attention, causing a search, and then eventually he was inspired to go to the cleaners who had it and gave it to him, just so he would believe even more strongly that she was in really in contact with him.
I have often had dreams like that through the years. He said that those who have passed on have to figure out a way to send such signals, so that family members will believe contact has been made with a spirit. Or they will get the warning message, whatever the loved one wants to tell them. After I read this book, last night I received a visitation from Pierre, probably because he died of lung cancer just as John Edward's mother did. It was the best visitation I have had from him since he died. He said he was very grateful for all the help he received from me when he was dying and he wanted to repay me. He said he would be there when I passed over. I recalled that ours was the best sexual relationship I ever had despite the fact he was a bisexual, because he was kind. So we talked quite a long time about the bisexual aspect of his personality, which I knew had drawn him to me because of how I talked about my father who I also thought was bisexual. It was something he could never have talked about to his family as they, being religious, so highly disapproved of homosexuality that he did not think they could handle it. In fact, he said that was why he always lied about it because nobody could handle the truth, he thought, until I came along. Even then he could not bring himself to admit it, even though he allowed me to tell him I thought he was bisexual and why.
He said he was ready now to give up his bisexuality, which he regards as something like an addiction. He says he was capable of caring deeply for a woman but he had gotten into these relationships with males when he was very young. I figured out a lot of the reasons as I talked to him about his early history when he was alive. He was very boyish looking even in his 60's, small, and good looking, so I figured he had been pursued by gays from an early age. He said this was so, and he was tempted and succumbed enough to develop the addiction. When he met me, he said that he was too close to the end of his life to give it up, so he still acted on his attraction to guys, which is what broke us up about a year before he died. He was already experiencing an alarming degree of pain, so I continued to take him to the doctor. I had already seen him through a critical back surgery when 5 discs had to be fused to keep him becoming a cripple. That was very scarey since they threw him out of the hospital after one day and I had to look after him. I was not even a nurse!
The guy who broke us up of course was not capable of looking after anyone since he was a bad alcoholic. He said he felt very guilty about having to depend on me to help him die after he had not treated me well. He does not think Doc is treating me well by continuing to drink so much so we can have no sexual relationship whatsoever, but he recognizes that Doc has a big problem with his sexuality. Doc has been punishing women over his nightmarish first marriage his whole life, and like Pierre, habit prevails and he is unable to stop his downward course toward self destruction. He is not a bisexual. He is not sexual with anyone. It must have taken quite a few years to kill his sexual drive altogether, but he apparently feels less rage and pain when he is not having any kind of sexual relationship with a woman even though he enjoys their companionship and tries to have a relationship that does not include sex. Pierre who was not that messed up in his mind thinks that is cruel, and it is, but Doc cannot help himself at this point.
Pierre was grieving when I knew him because although he could have sex, he had not been able to get hard enough to penetrate for quite a few years. He had lost that function after his first back surgeries he said, before he met me. Now he says that capacity has been restored to him, so he no longer feels like a cripple. He says it is a mind thing that you take with you when you die, even though you leave the body behind which has usually become non functional someway. He says he feels that he was more a true and loving husband to me in life than anyone has been. He says he would not hesitate to renew his relationship with me despite what Doc says because it was as strong as it was in life. I have told Doc that Pierre's and my sexual life was pretty good but he chooses not to believe me. Pierre thinks he could rival Doc with intellectuality now better than when he was alive because he has been working on his addiction problems ever since he died, include his sexual addictions, which he thinks makes him more advanced than Doc. That is true. Doc has not dealt with the physical aspect of love at all for 10 or 15 years which seems very strange. Makes him seem like a 102 already.
But men at our age are often sexually dysfuctional. Well women are, too, so a sexual relationship may not exist in most people's lives for years. Too bad.
I am glad John Edward's book inspired a visit from Pierre.
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