Thursday, September 23, 2010

Uneasy sleep causes me to wake in the night with concern about Doc

I woke up about 12:30 in the middle of the night realizing Doc had not called all evening. This caused me to get so uneasy I finally got up and went down and knocked a long time on his door. When he did not answer I called. Still no answer, so I finally went to the security desk and asked if he could be checked to make sure he was okay after yesterday's events with Linda. He said not without the police. I debated quite a while about whether to call the police but decided to let it go until morning. I knocked about 20 minutes after 6 this morning and he finally answered. He said he did not answer the door in the middle of the night because he did not know it was me. He said that once during the course of their drinking Linda put him in a stranglehold. I said what did you do. He said nothing and she let go, but she is very strong. He said he could see that if she got really angry she would have been very hard for him to handle. The reason I got nervous is because Doc has gotten into several physical bouts with a drinking buddy when both have been very drunk.
He did not know that Linda had been hospitalized for extreme upset.
In my younger days I have dealt with very upset people under the influence where the police had to be called. Doc said if he had known Linda's state of mind he would not have offered her a drink! Well, I hope he has learned some sort of lesson and I have certainly learned mine about taking anyone else into the apartment of an alcoholic. An alcoholic is not mentally stable, so therefore not as responsible as other people. However, I told Doc I could not stick around trying to protect him from the trouble his drinking with people might get him into.
It has taken some adjustment to deal with the larger amount of mental patients who are seeking an apartment in this HUD complex, federal government subsidized, and by law they cannot be discriminated against. I find it all very interesting actually as I have a special interest in the mentally ill, ever since my own days of being incarcerated. I had gotten very upset because of making the decision I had to leave college which I knew my dad would not accept, and I doubt he ever could have accepted it as well as he did if he had not perceived I was ill. The past had finally caught up with me. I just could not function any longer in college. But actually, the psychiatrists made me much more ill than I was by refusing to believe something was wrong with me that might cause electric shock therapy to be too dangerous for me. Since so many were getting it they seemed to think they were obligated to give me some shock treatment. They could not just try to deal with my stress. That would have been giving in to me, the patient, since they did not believe my story of chronic fatigue. I knew I had something wrong with me that was pretty serious, but this shows they were not flexible when it came to electric shock therapy. They were on the defensive about it and could not make an exception.
If they had just believed what I told them, I would have suffered much less damage. Nearly dying did not do me a lot of good, and they pushed me into that result. That is how they found out what I had was serious.
But doctors continued to misdiagnose me throughout my life and some refused to believe that chronic fatigue was even real. I was not going to die just to prove to them how serious it was, so I always had to handle my own case, especially when I was dangerously ill. I had to heal myself with a combination of relief from stress, rest and exercise as soon as I could recover enough to do any. Limited activity.
I wished before I died many times some evidence of the illness could be discovered in a test. It would make things a lot easier for anybody suffering from this. I could not believe I was the only one in the world with it. I have run into people with serious symptoms of it who were having about as hard a time as I was being taken serious.
Now I more or less have the symptoms all the time in old age and have to do very limited activity, but since it is a chronic condition I remain in good spirits. I am just able to adjust to my limitations without upset. I do not expect it to be very hard for me to die since I just continue to get weaker until I can hardly feel anything at all, and then numbness can set in and the dying process can start. I have been down that road too many times not to know what each step involves. So as long as I stay within a certain boundary of symptoms I am okay.
I got into a little trouble a couple of days ago and had to go to bed most of the day and night, but was pretty much recovered by the next day with that much rest. I always tell people who are ailing to rest more. It is a wonder cure. Many do not know when they need to rest. Very often simply resting relieves a lot of symptoms. We are such a go go society! In fact over work and stress when still a child I thought caused me to get chronic fatigue!


Amrita said...

Glad Doc was OK, so good of you to check him out.

Is Linda schizo?

salemslot9 said...

poor Doc

it's one thing
if she didn't
care for his

another to attack him

just kidding


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