5- Electric shock used for punishment

Of course they don't intend to use it that way, but when you have been incarcerated after a few seconds interview the first time you ever go to psychiatrist, you tend to look at it like that. Electric shock given as a horrific punishment for not being a submissive enough student is a lot worse than if you have been convinced you actually need it because you have some kind of mental illness. Up until then I had not even lost a night's sleep over what I was doing in my classes, my behavior was that mild. I thought I had never acted any more abnormal than any child after having been molested, kept from telling by the circumstances, and dealing with a father's extreme alcoholism for a number of years. After checking out the patients in there who all seemed to be getting electric shock, I thought the doctors were abusing their powers. They didn't want to talk long at all to the patients and deal with them personally when electric shock changed their behavior quite well. There is great opportunity for abuse in this kind of thinking. Plus other people, including the psychiatrist could prescribe it without the patient's permission. He or she might be too insane to judge! They had me coming and going. This incarceration became a nightmare as I determined that I must get out of electric shock treatment, if I had to risk dying, because as angry as I was and as stressed, electric shock was bound to do a lot more damage. As weak as I was becoming I thought it might even kill me instantly. I might come back from a near death experience in better shape. Dying was not too hard. I just locked up. I had motivation. I was dying to save my life.