Thursday, April 23, 2009

Spirit walking adaptation after near death experiences

The man who is dying had a near death experience five years ago. When he was recovering I was working in the computer room as a monitor where he worked and took the time to talk to him almost every day. I feared that he would hit the same kind of frustrations he had before and would drink again and nothing would save him. I found out from our conversations that he was extremely psychic, probably from the near death experiences he had been having all his drinking life from the way he drank. I saw that he interacted with so many people while he was drinking that he existed in kind of a battle field with all these people vying for his attention, sometimes in most unpleasant ways. He was a very popular guy, but I figured it was his very popularity that was apt to kill him. There is little purpose in having people fight over you. But he was not thinking well enough to be cautious when he was drinking.
I suggested to him that he become a spirit walker. That is that he should communicate by telepathic means so some of what he did would be invisible. He complained constantly that he could not talk to women where people knew him. Well, no, not if he was going to flirt with every woman in sight while he was drinking. When he sobered up he would have ten times more girlfriends than he knew what to do with. If he learned a different means of communication, he would not have to fight somebody who loved him over every encounter.
I found him to be one of the most startling spirit walkers I have ever met. All those poems I wrote were to him. But I tired of the limitation of this means of communication after about a year, as I could see from his behavior that he and I were not destined to be together in 'real' time, but I thought that spirit walking helped save his life, since it was almost impossible for me to talk to him the normal way, and I thought he desperately needed more and better communication than he was getting. Or he could not distance himself from his all too frequent drinking binges. This was my theory and it worked. He did not have one of these mad suicidal binges for 5 years. And I never begrudged the time and effort I put in to help him because he is a man of great appeal.
But I have gradually realized that his near death experiences left him impaired and that it was going to be very difficult for him to form a committed relationship with anybody. The last two years he finally did so, and now suddenly he has thrown it to the winds and is once again trying to kill himself. I shied away from him and this possibility and took up with Doc.
Doc has complete erectile dysfunction but he understands and practices commitment to a woman. In fact, he has outdone every other man I have ever known in that department. When you are with him, he concentrates his attention completely on you. He enjoys you, and he makes you undertand how much fun a couple can have if they give each other the time and attention a relationship requires.
I don't know that he has the ability anymore to quit drinking. He does not seem to, so I have had to be content with his great gifts that still manifest despite his drinking. But he knew that because of his drinking this other man, while sober, could keep his telepathic connection to me alive. In fact, it was never broken because of Doc's drinking. So Doc accepted this as the price for his continuing to drink, but now the other man has started to drink again and way surpassed Doc in self destruction in a matter of a few weeks. He gulps, he does not sip like Doc!
Last night for the first time I got the message from his eyes, everything about him, that he is dying. So now maybe you will understand a little better why his self destruction has shaken me. He had power over me because we were both spirit walkers and we still met out of body from time to time.
Strange I should be posting this play "Blue" or "The Spirit Walkers Convention" at this time. I have known two other spirit walkers of his kind of ability. They were both more powerful out of body and invisible because they were in prison in their bodies because of all the lovers surrounding and fighting over them. I have used this invisible means of traveling out of body to save my own life because of my disabilities, and they have used it to save theirs. But if the body cannot not work well for whatever reason, spirit walking can only give a limited amount of help before impairment of the more profound sort takes its toll, and the dying begins.

1 comment:

Missie said...

Enjoy your weekend!


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