Saturday, December 4, 2010
Glorious coleus at the Farmer's Market only $5!
I was so pleased this morning to find this coleus for Doc's apartment who had sent me to the Farmer's Market to buy his favorite chili cheese bread. He did not know he was going to get a coleus, too! Doc's apartment which gets no sun directly at all is ideal for coleus plants. He had one that was just out of this world that finally died and we have not been able to replace it until now. A poinsettia does a lot better in an apartment like his, too because that is what turns the leaves red is being without sunlight. He is very frugal so the price was right. I don't know why the Farmer's Daughter was selling these at such a bargain price which would have cost $10 at the very least in a department store. I am a farmer's daughter, too, and am always checking out the price of plants.
The glorious azalea Doc gave me last year covered with pink flowers is blooming again this year in my apartment, but has only three blossoms so far. Half of it died, and I don't know what they put in them to make so many bloom at the same time. I think Doc paid $17 for it in full bloom. My tree which I keep in a relatively small container so it won't grow tall is flourishing as usual. I am surely the only person in this big complex who has such a big tree growing in her apartment. I may put some balls on it for Xmas to dress it up a little for the holidays.
I thought Doc took a relatively good photo of me with my arm draped lovingly around my coleus. It is really mine. It will only rest in Doc's apartment.
Today was a good day at the market. I bought small tasty turnips I can't wait to try, tomatoes, English cucumbers (small), a big fat cabbage, an onion, and a loaf of wheatberry bread.
I have been down paying some of Doc's bills online and reading his messages to him. I showed him a website story of people leaving Scientology, which is a subject that causes him to go into spells. He is forever trying to stop them from sending him their material. His last wife went into Scientology and he says she must have provided them with his address. He is the last candidate on earth to be recruited, so they are just wasting good money sending him all this stuff. His step daughter Christina who was just here for a visit went into it with her mom, but she said she either left or got kicked out. She is the one who provided the link where some friends of hers told their story of working in Scientology for many years and becoming disillusioned and leaving.
Doc wants me to read him this big long story. I told him I might do it one day when I have nothing better to do, but I had to come home to clean my house in anticipation of a visit from my grandson Ethan this evening who is going to stay with me while his parents go to a company dinner. My son in law is general manager of the company so it is going to be a luxurious affair at the Biltmore I believe. He is doing very well with his job promotion.
Raymond suffered some wear and tear with his wild fast drive across Texas, but he says he is going to go look for work in a few days. He has other ideas on how to make some money. He says he tries to cook good meals for his brother in payment for staying with him until he gets on his feet.
My sister Margie says her husband has got to the point of refusing rehab, so he will be transferred to hospice. If this move is premature, he will stay there a while and then transfer back to a regular care center, as he is still to the point she can't look after him at home, he falls so often, and she can't get him up by herself. If he comes back from hospice, he will be paying out of his own pocket for his care, because his medicare has ended with rehab. He is or was a multimillionaire but he distributed his fortune to his kids several years ago as he did not feel capable of running his business as well anymore. She said he still has some stocks left which will cover his expenses a while.
She and I discussed legalized abortion some on the site as she operated a clinic under Planned Parenthood that did not provide abortions. However, she is wondering what I suggest as alternatives to abortion for hardship pregnancies. Once again I stated that if women do not try to control pregnancies with means other than abortion we will continue to have the high number of abortions that are performed in this country every year, over a million. If that is not acceptable, then women have to get really serious about other forms of prevention. I discussed what I used. I hope we don't have a fight about it.
My one sister LaRae who died of ovarian cancer at 51 was adamantly pro choice up until her death. But I feel her abortion contributed to her death by causing her to be less vigilant about her own health, and less intuitive about danger developing in her own body. A mother's intuitive instincts are all engaged in protecting the embryo. Once the mother goes against her own instincts to have an abortion, she has introduced death as acceptable in her own body. I believe then the body's warning signals that cancer has invaded may not be as heeded after that.
My sister's cancer had metastasized before she ever thought her symptoms were serious enough to consult a specialist. I remember that she wrote me just before she went in to have the doctor look for the problem and said, "I am sure nothing is wrong." Later she said she had been given a death sentence and would be on death row now, doing treatment until she died, with little or no hope of recovery. She lived three years.
Make of it what you will, but here is a message from her. I am a medium who has talked to the spirits for years, following near death experiences. I just feel them. Many times I have sensed a spirit entering my ken, knew who they were, and that they had a message, and I have listened to what they had to say. I always recorded these messages whenever possible, so as to document them. I have thrown many many spirit journals away, because they accumulated and it was so difficult to read them, I decided not to keep them anymore.
LARAE: I want to say that I was pro choice until I died, probably because I was too stubborn to admit that abortion may have grave consequences to the mother's health as well, which is more or less what happened to me. I did not want to relate advanced ovarian cancer to my abortion, but the truth is I was more depressed following my abortion, had more thoughts of suicide, and now will have to admit was more careless about my own health. I was dealing with the consequences of causing the death of another human being growing in my body for me to nurture and protect until birth. The weight of it on my mind was more than I bargained for. When I found out I had terminal cancer I discovered that I simply could not pray for mercy. I had not shown mercy to my child. I knew somewhere inside of me I was not going to get mercy for myself. I was not going to have a miracle cure. I was not going to survive cancer. So now I knew what it was to have a death sentence.
Whatever had happened to my child was now going to happen to me. If I survived death my child would also. Up until then I did not think about whether my aborted child had survived death. Death was so far off I did not think I had to think about it.
Now death was looming just ahead of me. I started to think about where my child must be. Did I even deserve life after death? Would I see my child if I survived death.
It would have been so much easier just to have gone ahead and had the child.
What had I done by killing it? Now twenty years later I was dying.
I knew if this child had survived it probably would not trust me. I would be just like any other parent who had killed a child. I may as well have gone to prison and served time for it. Then maybe I would feel like I had paid for my crime.
As it was I was going to see a child I had tried not to think about all these years. All these thoughts did not make for a happy death. Harps playing and angels coming to greet me.
For the first time I regretted my abortion, but it was too late to say it. Pro choice was my legacy.
GERRY: Boy, LaRae, this is a pretty grim message.
LARAE: I am just trying to say that killing is a lot more serious business than it is made out to be.
GERRY: We will make this message short then.
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4 comments:
your sister's message
is brutally honest
p.s.
I've never had
chili cheese bread
sounds tasty, though
You are sooo kind to Doc. John and I met at Farmer's Daughter but it was a dance hall in san antonio. Chile cheese bread does sound interesting.
We hav e coleus too, this plant looks very nice
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