Doc takes sliver out of my foot

First of all, my header, isn't it cute, made by Connie of course, and reminds me of how I might have looked back in Utah riding a pony in the snow. I would have had my long stockings on, held up by garters, what we wore in those days instead of pants. Pants didn't come until later. I hated having to wear those long stockings, but they were warm! We didn't have any street lights though. We were really out in the wilds.
Now to the sliver. When I went to get pizza I had such a bruise I thought on the bottom of my foot I could hardly walk comfortably. The day before I walked in some gravel, and some of the little rocks had gotten inside my sandal under my foot. (We can wear sandals year around in Phoenix) I thought I must have really bruised my foot by not stopping and making sure all the little rocks were gone. I wasn't going to be able to take a walk until it got better.
When I came back with the pizza I mentioned that I must have really gotten a bad bruise the day before as it hurt to walk. So we discussed why I had walked in gravel, etc. Then he said I will take a look at it after we finish our pizza.
Take a look? What was there to see. Maybe you have got a sliver in there or a piece of glass says he. Oh no, I had dropped a little glass desert dish the day before and it shattered, but mindful of how dangerous a piece of glass in the foot can be and hard to get out, I had swept up the glass and even used a wet paper towel and got up another sliver or two. And for good measure I took the little broom and made a clean sweep again. I get up in the night and go barefoot past my kitchenette to the bathroom two or three times a night, so I didn't want to miss any pieces of glass.
I told Doc that my sister Linda broke a glass once and got a piece she thought in the bottom of her foot and was complaining about not being able to get it out for months! That had been years ago and for all I knew it was still in my sister's poor foot.
I tried to see the bottom of my foot and caught a glimpse of something black where it hurt. Oh my gosh, I said, I do have something in my foot, I can see it! I need a podiatrist, I moaned, I know I can't get at it!
Doc assured me he would look at it. Doc has never looked at any of my slivers before in the five years I have hung out with him! He never even offered to. So he has me stretch out on his bed and I hold up my foot. Oh, he says, I see it, let me get a needle. A needle?? He finds a needle and says see, now I am going to sterilize it just in case with this lighter. He sterilizes it and comes over to operate on my foot.
Are you sure you are not too drunk to do this, I ask, which makes Doc laugh. Even if the joke is at his expense, he will always laugh.
I say now my feet are very sensitive so be careful! I can't stand pain. Oh shut up, says he, stop being such a wimp.
So he pokes around in my foot and I realize old age has caused a considerable drop in my sensitivity as his poking with this big needle hardly hurts at all! He then claims to have gotten something out, but just in case he needs to get his magnifying glass so he can make sure. He looks at my foot with the magnifying glass and pokes some more. He is carrying antibiotic salve which he slathers on. I think he might even have put a band aid on it, but since it was the cheap kind, it must have fallen right off, because I couldn't find it later.
To my shock, my foot immediately feels better. I can walk on it with hardly any pain at all! I think you actually got it out I say.
He says, you think I did not have to get slivers out of the feet of all those stepkids? In my first marriage that six were always having to be doctored for some damn thing. No, I am not a doc for nothing. Doc Emde, that's me.
Yes, I said, you didn't even have to go to medical school. How nice for me.
I go home relieved I don't have to try to find a podiatrist to get that sliver out of my foot. Drunks are good for something! I was thinking later some doctors and even dentists are alcoholics. You never know. They could be half shot and cutting out your appendix. My mind was really wandering. I snapped back to attention and went home to surf the Internet.
This morning I am practically as good as new and will be able to resume walking again. I could just see myself gaining 10 pounds while I waited for appt. to a podiatrist, after I had managed to get through Thanksgiving without overeating. So off to the Farmer's Market I go. But first to Doc's for coffee and half of a banana. And to tell him he has my undying gratitude. Just like the lioness who got the sliver taken out of her paw by a brave good Samaritan, I will purr instead of snarl.