Showing posts with label loss of control. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss of control. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Closer and closer to death

The man who has been trying to kill himself for over a month is still at it. I saw him a little while ago, and he looked a good deal more haggard, dark circles starting to form under his eyes, his face bruised where he has fallen. He was begging money from everyone to buy more beer. This is a man who cannot stop once he starts. He has been taken away inumerable times by paramedics but as soon as he gets where he is going to a hospital, or somewhere, he leaves and comes home again, and they say they cannot hold an alcoholic against his will.
Yesterday in a brief conversation he remembered that he had been sober for some time (5 years) since he tried to kill himself like this before, ended up in a coma from bleeding into the stomach He looks to me like he is not far from being able to die now. Don't know if anyone will realize it this time. They were barely able to save him last time.
It's pretty painful to be watching all this happening, it seems to have disturbed all the other alcoholics. Maybe they will see what is in store for them as their appetite for alcohol inevitably grows larger, while their body's tolerence for it grows less. This is like watching a man with a terminal disease wasting away. His will to drink is stronger than anybody else's power to stop him. Alcoholism is a terrible disease. This is very close to a death watch.

Herrad

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