2- Pedofile tooo friendly

If people have to pay too high of price for telling the truth, they won't tell it. If coming out with gay feelings is going to force people to leave home, go to the city, even leave the state, some just aren't going to do it. They are going to go into hiding, and if that means marriage to an unknowing woman and children, they will try that, too. There is no better cover which my dad well knew. And so did I by the time I was five. He didn't count on me figuring it out so soon, with one of his male partners help who molested me. My dad had been so incautious thinking I suppose that I was too young to observe anything or question it, that I was able to see signs of a homosexual affair even though I hardly knew what that was at my age. And I started thinking oh my poor mother, what if she knew what he was doing? All that was causing about as much stress as the molesting which I figured out how to stop fairly soon, by practically staying at my mother's side. I knew he was afraid of her. But I did not tell. Because what my dad was doing with the man and what the man was doing to me were too closely entwined.

1- Pedofile Sunday School

In a new series I attempt to get into the reasons why child molestation flourished in my society more than in Doc's childhood world.

Thanksgiving lovely out to daughter Ronda's

I did not take my camera because I knew my daughter was stressed, so didn't want to risk adding any kind of annoying factor to her day. She has always been a little concerned about my posting photos of her family on the Internet. So I am posting my favorite photo of her and me together where you can really tell we are closely related. She was so exhausted from her hard studying to finish up her nurse program in college, that she fell asleep after dinner, watching the Cardinal-Eagles football game (our guys tanked), and her husband Chad who had put up lights outside and the tree that day fell asleep, too. I thought this is a very hard working couple. Chad had jumped up and cleared up all the dishes and sent them to the dishasher, put things away too. He is about the most ideal husband helper I have seen. You know I have never seen him say a cross word to his wife and kids. He is unbelievable, but they respect him and want to please him. He is a born manager who has made himself indispensible to the company where he works.
I had commented last time I was there their dog Bailey was getting fat, and low and behold he was thin again and Chad says he tries to take him walkng and running as often as he can. I suggested maybe they could get him a little dog treadmill to run beside them on theirs when it is too hot to run in 110 weather. Do they have dog treadmills? I love their dog. His good character shines in his eyes and his demeanor at all time. I think he is a border terrior. (Sp) Am I still thinking terrorist, anyway he is certainly not a dog terrorist although he does bark loudly to alert the family about anyone messing around the front door.
Ronda said she was too tired to cook so they were ordering Fry's Thanksgiving dinner. I warned Doc I might not be able to bring this poor shut in (for his own sake as well as family's) a plate of turkey, but the turkey Fry's sent was good enough size, Ronda sent her usual Thankgiving giveaway plate home with everyone. I made the most delicious fruit salad ever because all the fruits were perfect especially the pineapple. My grandsons Jamal and Dante love this salad, I have made it so many years. They would rather have it than pie. The grandsons, Jamal, Ethan, and Dante were all nice and thin and will not need to be put on diets or run more.
Dante said that his his mother's BF and father of her two little ones got laid off, so they are eating lots of beans and rice. He is a professional operator but work finally dried up for him, too, on the big machines. Dante's other grandma lives with them and contributes when they need it, so he says they will not be evicted or starve. His mother needs to take care of the two little ones for a while longer before she can join the workforce again.
My son Gary did not come as his family lives in Flagstaff, so he usually tries to go there atleast a day, but he has been working overtime he said to keep the construction company he is working for from going bankrupt. He is making sure the job is done fast and well, so they can get more jobs. He took me out to breakfast the Sunday before Thanksgiving so that was nice.
I got hold of Raymond in Los Angeles who had dinner at his friend Ken's house. I asked him if Ken was prepared to do "Blue Baby." He said he was scared to death! I don't blame him. That is some part. Raymond will act in his one man show of course. He wrote a good entry about his thoughts on Thanksgiving. He also said that it hurt him to see me with Doc on a video not at his best because of the drinking, because he tended to throttle my vision with a primitive joke. I do feel a captive at times of a madman who feels he must kill himself. Raymond is taking the precaution of looking up AA meetings to attend in L.A. which he does if he can wherever he goes.
My son Dan took me out to Ronda's. He was in good spirits as he does not think he will be laid off. Work might dry up some in the summer. We all had a good time together. I hope your Thankgiving get together with your family was as good as mine!

Thanksgiving and Terrorist Attacks

Happy Thanksgiving and Docs little Christmas tree

So Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. I am also posting my favorite photo for Thanksgiving agan called the turkey stampede. I made a video called Thanksgiving and Terrorist Attacks with Doc which is uploading now. You will see why the two go together when I post it later on in the day. Making a video always makes him happy as I am going to leave him to his lonely self while I go out to my daughter's with my son Dan and grandson Dante for Thanksgiving dinner around 4 pm, as she delayed it until my grandson Jamal could get off work. I am going to take my camera. Doc does not like to accomodate himself to family activities or can't at this point which is why he has to stay home, which is sad, but I can't help it. I am not going to put up with any truculant or off color remarks from him due to chronic inebriation when I am with my family. But here is his little tree I gave him he is proudly displaying. I couldn't wait to show it to you. My enthusiasm for Christmas starts early.

Psychic sister Linda gives me a novel, Shantaram, which contains a detailed description of life in Bombay (Mumbai), scene of terrorist attacks

This novel, by Gregory David Roberts, is undoubtedly based on his real life as fugitive from Australia's maximum security prison system who escaped detection for years in Bombay. As events unfolded today on the news, I was amazed to learn that the attacks that took place in the Taj Mahal 5 star luxury hotel as well as a cafe called Leopold's are described by the author as where his fugitive protagonist Lin operated, hired by the Indian mafia. He participated in all kinds of criminal activity, working for a mafia overlord, which included trafficking in passports for those willing to pay the price, securing potent drugs for tourists, most often heroin or hashish. He met up with these tourists at the Taj Mahal or Leopold's Cafe mostly. The Mafia head was from Afganistan and also recruited Lin to go with him and a group of his men back to his native Afganistan to help his people fight the Russians, who were waging a savage war there at the time. A terrible trip is described taking place in the merciless mountains of Afganistan with the whole company killed except four men who came back barely alive from their wounds. Of course most of these men were Muslim as opposed to the Hindus of India who are the majority there.
Linda gave me this novel, insistent that I read it when Raymond and I went over to her house for lunch. I regard this as as psychic pickup by her of big trouble coming to that part of the world. She also received advanced warning of the massacre in Rowanda, undoubtedly because her daughter Carissa was in the Peace Corps there at the time. My son Dan purchased the novel Shantaram and told me sometime ago that it was such a riveting novel he could hardly lay down, and so it is, and these attacks reported today in that very milieu somewhat stunned me because I had gotten so engrossed in the novel which also delineates intimate knowledge of the life lived among the poorest of the poor in a slum adjacent to the Tag Mahal, where India's poor live in little makeshift huts, jampacked together. The fugitive lives there a number of months by turning himself into a kind of doctor because of his training in first aid, and uses medical supplies that come to him from the leper's colony. He also details the ravages of cholera and the monsoon and other such hazards that India must fight constantly. I learned more about what people go through on a daily basis living poor in India here than I have in any other book I have read. I also learned what the criminal element do, who are undoubtedly part of the terrorists who attacked the tourists at the present time. This novel was published in 2003 after the author was finally recaptured, served out his term, and established a multi media company when he came out of prison. Well he has written a novel that seemed to jump into the headlines today out of the past, terrorists carrying on as they do in the novel when many of the mafia figures and friends he knew die from the hard dangerous life they live, including his first best friend he met the moment he came off the plane. He was from a poor village trying to make a better living in Bombay (Mumbai) and he died there in the hectic life in the streets, due to an accident. The terrorists today have killed more than 80 people, believed to be mostly American and British, and others are being held hostage. And I can picture it all quite clearly because a good writer put down his experiences in this city and made them come alive! Writers can save lives with the journalistic clarity of their vision, showing us what we are up against.

6- Daughters of the Shadow Men still looking for openminded

Yes, the daughters are still suppressed. Women playwrights have a tougher time getting their plays produced. But I am so excited because my son Raymond has moved his big city theatrical operations to Los Angeles, and is going to produce not one but two of his plays in that fabled city. They will not know him, he must muscle his way in their consciousness with his art, but he's still strong enough to do it. I remember having a staged reading down there of one of my plays, and a vicious actress from New York I cast in the lead sabotaged my play out of a ruthless competitive spirit that I was not prepared to fight. I realized I should have played the part myself. I gave her the opportunity to kill me with my own words. The way she chose to interpret them. I wondered what happened to her who did not know enough to band together with women instead of becoming an instant enemy. Check out Raymond's blog: http://cowboysandbohemians.blogspot.com to read about casting his second play "Blue Baby." Ken Harding, his friend down there who made a living at one time acting, will play the lead role.

Christmas Tree decorated already!

I grow my own live tree so it is no problem to decorate it. I found some green and red balls in the thrift store so I put them on my tree, and they look just like they grew there. (I think) I just do little touches of Xmas since I mostly meet my kids outside and go places with them, and nobody sees my apt. I also got Doc a glass Xmas tree about 10 inches high with all colors of small Xmas balls in it He loved it. It takes a lot for an item to stand out among his many 'things.' He will soon start burning Xmas candles like crazy. He always does. I have never seen a man more in love with candles at Xmas time. He wanted me to put lights on my tree, but I said no, no, I want it to look naturale.

5- Electric shock used for punishment

Of course they don't intend to use it that way, but when you have been incarcerated after a few seconds interview the first time you ever go to psychiatrist, you tend to look at it like that. Electric shock given as a horrific punishment for not being a submissive enough student is a lot worse than if you have been convinced you actually need it because you have some kind of mental illness. Up until then I had not even lost a night's sleep over what I was doing in my classes, my behavior was that mild. I thought I had never acted any more abnormal than any child after having been molested, kept from telling by the circumstances, and dealing with a father's extreme alcoholism for a number of years. After checking out the patients in there who all seemed to be getting electric shock, I thought the doctors were abusing their powers. They didn't want to talk long at all to the patients and deal with them personally when electric shock changed their behavior quite well. There is great opportunity for abuse in this kind of thinking. Plus other people, including the psychiatrist could prescribe it without the patient's permission. He or she might be too insane to judge! They had me coming and going. This incarceration became a nightmare as I determined that I must get out of electric shock treatment, if I had to risk dying, because as angry as I was and as stressed, electric shock was bound to do a lot more damage. As weak as I was becoming I thought it might even kill me instantly. I might come back from a near death experience in better shape. Dying was not too hard. I just locked up. I had motivation. I was dying to save my life.

4- Mormon psychiatrist incarcerates me for insubordination

You might think that this is exaggeration on my part or simply not true, but after I had not answered three questions, which took only a few moments of the psychiatrist's time, he left the room, and as I found out later, rounded up a guard to transport me to a psych ward. I tried to talk him out of this drastic move, but he told me I was going and that was that. I was told by the guard I was allowed one phone call. I chose not to take it because I did not know how I could possibly explain this turn of events to any of my relatives while still in my right mind. They were going to have to torture me until I was out of my mind before I could take this charge of mental illness serious. I just hadn't been brainwashed well enough to imagine I was really insane and didn't know it!

3- I started telling the truth in my classes causing consternation!

Try it sometime. In every class instead of listening to the professors and regurgitating whatever they said, I carefully wrote the truth of what I thought. I also did this with all the students around me. I was surprised at how brainwashed we all were, and programmed never to say what we thought. I was soon causing a minor sensation, but the results were mixed, A's on some papers, F's on others. I could see that my time at the University would soon be over by the reactions, but I was prepared. I knew it was time to leave, but there were still other ordeals in store for me before I could make my escape. I did not realize how dangerous what I was doing could be! The truth can seem like a bomb to some folks, unwelcome, and well, you will see.

2- Student (me) was covered with sores, and nobody reacted

I even wrote a paper I thought was very risky trying to reach the head of the department, the famous Shakespearean director who I thought was a shadow man. I described students covered with sores with everyone acting like they did not even see them. Now this brilliant man called me in and handed this paper back to me without comment on the content at all! He merely said this was not the format he asked for, and he could not give my paper a grade. That made me furious, but I smiled and reached for the paper and said, "It doesn't matter." Meaning I did not care if he gave me an F! He didn't give me an F, but I could plainly see he was not going to explore such subtext, so what was I going to do? He did not seem reachable. Well, I was used to that. I was determined. I had been silent too long. I would think of some way, somehow---

l- Gerry delves into the married bisexual professor world of her youth

I decided I could be a little more specific about what I thought was going on at the University of Utah in regarding to married professors I thought were shadow men, that is they were like my father, living a double life as gay men. I became determined I was going to start surfacing some way or another my true self and true thoughts, that is the personality that suspected my dad was living a double life since the age of five, having been molested by two of his partners turned jealous and revengeful. Poorer men were very envious of my father's opportunities to acquire property as the son of a rich man. Would you believe I had been unable to find anyone I could tell all this to. It just was not safe!
In fact, I have been afraid to go into detail about these powerful men of the time at the University. I was even afraid at first to call my dad gay. I could picture him reacting with his characteristic fit of rage.
I felt that the women and the children became even greater victims of their suppression than the men. The men had to get very mean to protect their secrets. Which is why I did not dare talk about this for many years. The main reason I feel I have not been published. There are still too many shadow men nobody wants to tangle with or offend. They may have money and power as my dad did. So honesty cannot be their policy, they feel, so they are not appreciative of anyone's attempts to be honest, which became my goal at the University of Utah. Now you may be getting a better idea of why I nearly ended up dead. I will post the first two videos. I have made four more trying to go into depth about how I struggled to find somebody, anybody, I could speak my truth to. I came up with an ingenious plan eventually.

Consult ghosts around you in hard times

I just got through reading a book by another medium called "Ghosts Among Us" by James Van Pragh who is associated with the TV show Ghost Whisperer, which is based on the mediumship of a woman. He, however, was one of these relatively rare human beings who saw the ghosts around us as a tiny child and just thought that everybody did. In all the medium stories I read the psychic does not usually find out for a number of years that their gift of seeing ghosts among us is unique rather than a common occurence. I know I was gifted to a certain extent with psychic powers and what I am picking up is the activities of ghosts or spirits around us gathering to help us through these hard economical times, when some are going to feel worried to the breaking point.
Going into hard times is in a sense like making a transition into another sphere, and everyone feel very worried that they will not be able to take the strain and worry of making ends meet, especially when the breadwinner loses a job, something really serious. In that case, I would say alway pray very hard for help, and pay close attention to direction about the best thing to do.
I am trying to get ready to go to the other world, so that the transition will not be too traumatic. This is somewhat like preparing for the worst of times as we hit bottom.
I am sure our new president elect is praying very hard that he will be able to cover all bases in making the citizens feel reassured that all that can be done is being done by our leaders. I am reassured that he is asking a variety of good eperienced people to fill the important positions, so the upcomng transition between an outgoing and incoming president seems to be going well.
My daughter just called me and said that she is so busy finishing up the last demands of her nurse training she has no time to shop and cook Thanksgiving dinner. I don't look forward to the eating of the turkey as I used to. Now I think live turkeys like these beautiful ones I photographed to the state fair in what was called the turkey stampede. I feel quite satisfied that I won't be eating any of them and am perfectly willing to scale down to a few vegetarian items for Thanksgiving, including a delicious fruit salad I always make.
Doc and I started a new series this morning, and we enjoyed it so much we did six segments and watched them. The morning flew by. Even though the series subject is kind of grim, we still laughed a lot. Doc has a black sense of humor that serves him well with tough subjects. If only. If only. I find I can put these subjects on Youtube and get a little action.
I am content on blogspot. I want all the journalists to get their rest whatever they do, as we need rest in hard times. We need to settle down to a round of journals we can do comfortably even if we don't travel fast or often to many blogs Health comes first. Then we do what we can and should not feel guilty about what we can't do. I told my daughter she must fight not to feel guilty about passing on cooking her usual big Thanksgiving feast for her three brothers and mother and aunts, cousins, whoever. Her brothers feel no guilt when they don't cook. I try to cook a supper for Xmas eve once a year and that is my limit. I stopped doing Thanksgiving when it got too stressful. I know we will see my daughter at Xmas when she is all through of her studies She is worried because nobody has called her about her job. Let her just put it in the hands of the ghosts around her and they will find the perfect job for her to begin her nursing career.
As for me, I got a message from my spirit mother in the thrift store with three beautiful cards to give to my 3 sisters still living. They are so her they will recognize the message is from her immediately That is what you look for, little touches that tell you a spirit who loves you and wants to help you is trying to get in touch. Like Pam, if she tunes in, she will receive a comforting message from her mother who has manifested her spirit to her once already, and is just waiting now to help her adjust to a new job. She wants to help her get over a feeling of being lost. Crashed. The spirits around me say they have this message for Pam. Tune in to your mother every time you get too low and she will talk to you about many things and relieve your sense of stress and being too alone. You are not alone!

III- Doc suggests Gerry might want to jettison her fat nose and body in next life

Doc's dark side is in full evidence in this video as it has never been before, the thinking that feeds his alcoholism, I think.

Visit to the Doctor always sobering

I went for my periodic checkup to the doctor and was very disappointed to find out I had gained back the weight I lost and then some, but I knew it was happening because of stress. Stress causes symptoms of chronic fatigue which make me feel weak, and when I feel weak I have this overwhelming urge to eat for strength.
I experienced about a two month period of stress over the migration because I felt it was upsetting not only me but a lot of others who had been part of this community far longer. I was especially concerned about Donna because she had so much trouble trying to migrate her blog, and I have felt she was overworked for quite a while. She is a perfectionist, which you can certainly see when you look at the wedding photos she took for a family member that are just beautiful, her last big project before her heart attack. I know the heart attack will change her life, causing her to have to cut back on activities.
I have had to cut back on my blog rounds, making them more infrequently. I just have to do this so as to cut back on stress, as I tend to get upset everytime somebody gets sick or somebody in their family does. I went back to Cindy's Life blog and found out Dan, her SIL who had such a horrendous 18 story fall, is still experiencing terrible post traumatic stress. I know he couldn't help it, seeing blood come out of the walls or some such, so he just got hospitalized again.
I did think that handling the stress of getting involved in so many lives was sort of an occupational hazard of being a blogger in J-land. I don't think the AOL people realized they had to make room for adjustments, and just decided to scuttle the whole thing, which I think they will regret. I think it strained a company like AOL to deal with the problems of journaling and real live human beings, and the powers that be in the company wanted to distance them.
I find blogspot quite a soothing place. Of course, we won't trust quite so much, wondering if they might shut down, too. I have read that other companies were shutting down their blog features. However, I am going to take advantage of blogspot as long as possible, because I think blogging on the whole is pure pleasure. And is here to stay.
My health report was not really bad, as none of my medications had to be changed. I am still running sugar but not enough for meds, he said, and I know I can do better in the eating department. I still have enough iron in my blood and B-12 despite my vegan diet, so I seem to be getting the right thing. He recommended more green leafy vegetables. But he wants me in for a yearly sonogram next week on my heart because of three factors, overweight, blood pressure, and age, plus colesteral ran a little high, not enough for meds either, and that had to do with weight gain.
The stress has eased since the election despite the bad economic news and stuff like the firestorm in Los Angeles. However, I could feel that I was overreaching to plan a trip to Los Angeles. The trip to San Francisco was wonderful but stressful, so I am going to have to tell Pam I hope she will get acquainted with Raymond through his blog, and maybe she will feel like going to his show! But she also has a lot of stress factors, too, and that must be taken into consideration. I worry if she gets sick. I know having to change jobs because of stress factors is not easy, but it is very smart to do it. You have to slow down on taking these demanding jobs as you get older if you are going to stay healthy until retirement age. Disability before then as she well knows is a horrible hassle.
I was very encouraged with Raymond's progress in coming back from his burnout. He seems very healthy at the moment, has been walking 4 miles a day, rehabilitating his hip since surgery. He also found out that he had had a hip fracture at some point and just walked around on it in pain, not realizing that his pain was coming from a new source, a fracture. He does not remember falling or doing anything that acould have caused it. It is a mystery, but it has healed. So his hip can act like a normal hip after replacement surgery!
Connie, who sent me the graphic of the horse, is not posting and her e-mail box is full. Does anyone know what has happened. When a journalist does not post for a while you have to wonder.

Farewell lunch to Sister Linda's for Raymond

Raymond took me over to my sister Linda's where he is storing some of his belongings until he finds an apartment in Los Angeles. He and I and Linda had a wonderful talk for over two hours, and then Linda served us some delicious vegetarian burritoes. And Raymond started off on his trip to Los Angeles in as good as spirits as I have seen him for a long time. His mood was far different than when he came to Phoenix thinking he would stay here. I think Los Angeles is just the challenge for him right now. Linda's son Scott has been down there a number of months meeting interesting people and exploring what Los Angeles has to offer. On all my moves to Los Angeles I never stopped marveling at the variety of experiences to be had in this huge sprawling city, and yes, disasters were always a part of our experience, including firestorms, torrential rain and ensuing mud slides, and the San Fernando earthquake which I will never forget it shook us up so badly. Thank God they have not found anyone dead in this last firestorm, but a lot of people are left with no homes and that has got to be a terrible experience.
Linda lived in Los Angeles around ten years straight, when she married her husband down there and they made it their home and had their two children, Tano and Carissa. Now Linda is trying to decide whether she should move to San Francisco where her daughter now lives, so she can take part in taking care of her two grand children. Her house is full of her art work and books, and her second husband was an antique and junk collector, so the back yard is full of 'stuff.' Stuff does tend to slow down those who would move, so she debates with herself back and forth.
I just read a wonderful memoir written by Isabel Allende, a transplanted Chilean, called "The Sum of Our Days." She has lived with her second husband and her 'tribe' in San Francisco for years. She wrote "House of Spirits" and many more novels and has lived the kind of life I once envisioned for myself. She has gone on a number of tours selling her books, but all this I finally realized was beyond my stength with a body that had become so allergic to stress. But sadly she lost her daughter to a genetic condition called poryphia which caused a fatal pneumonia at 28, and this memoir is addressed to her. She has grieved for years over her death, and fears for her son who also inherited the condition, but in much less severe form. She has the trait of the Spanish of wanting her family all around her, living with her if possible, but she knows she cannot take her mother away from her beloved Chile so she settles for faxing her a letter every day! Isabel Allende has a wonderful sense of humour, too, and I loved reading about her relationship with her second husband Willie, a lawyer mostly for the down and out, and how they made their marriage work when they are so different. I must tell my niece Carissa in San Francisco about this book, as I just loved reading some of Isabel's take on that fascinating city, one of the most picturesque in the world to my mind. Carissa buys books by the ton. She gobbles books.

II- Gerry to give up alcoholic BFs in her next life

Having lunch with my son Raymond at Subway

We had a good time today catching up. After lunch we went to my apartment and he looked through some photos he might like me to send him. Raymond was in good spirits, and I think his sojourn to Los Angeles is going to be an exciting one. You can check his new blog out for more of his adventures producing a new play:
http://cowboysandbohemians.blogspot.com/

I- Gerry plans her next lifetime

In my new series I will be exploring the possibilities in my next life time of accomplishing what I failed to do in this one I got the idea from an Indian mystic's take on reincarnation I have been reading. He said it took him three lifetimes to reach the pinnacles of his powers as a guru. I thought that was a marvelous idea, but as usual Doc is skeptical, making a lot of fun of everything I say.

Fighting over issues on Youtube

My video "Gerry focuses on Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA)" has gotten 27 hits so far, which shows there is enough interest for me to deem this video worth making, but let me tell you what has alarmed me about such things as this extremist legislation--what I am seeing on Youtube. Obama turned to Youtube to help spread his word, which proved to be highly successful in reaching the young, but just as strongly, those in opposition, especially to this bill, have turned to Youtube. I have seen videos now of Obama making promises in his speeches to support this act all the way as he did in one to Planned Parenthood. Now this is unprecedented for a male candidate to do this in our history of legalized abortion. I just saw a video that said "This man will be supporting 6,000,000 deaths in his term of office." The video goes on to say that the US is estimated to be killing 1,500,000 a year in legalized abortion. The implication is that if this bill is signed, the numbers will climb, which I think they surely will, and Obama will be tied to these deaths.
What I fear is that Obama is being made the sacrificial goat for the abortion rights extremists who are going to make everybody in opposition furious if this bill is signed into law that can't be touched. He will be a much bigger target for violence than they will be. If you google FOCA you will find the full text of this act which does not leave out one single way people have tried to oppose legalized abortion. It practically even forbids those in office of talking against abortion! When they say untouchable law they mean it.
If you support the solution of abortion you are entering the killing fields and many things change when you do that, including the safety many have taken for granted in this country. Once the country is killing 1,500,000 a year in the unborn, our country becomes increasingly unsafe for anybody. People think just because it is the unborn, which we have managed not to think about very much at all, the rest of us are perfectly safe. Wrong. We are not safe. Nobody's safe when that much killing is going on.
Abortion advocates keep talking about protecting the life of the mother. In FOCA we see that the sacrifice of the child means nothing which is thinking that many do not espouse or think is logical. So are we to let abortion extremists rule? This act will in my opinion create a very volatile atmosphere, where the violent will feel they have more justification to explode.
Obama sounds so committed to this cause in these videos, I do not know if he can be influenced. I think now is the time for all citizens to weigh the consequences of going to extremes with abortion and try to make themselves felt and heard. Obama is not just an attractive and intelligent black man, as he is to most, he is a black man with a very troubling agenda to me, if these videos are any indication. I have fought the extremists for years in both parties. I left Mormon Utah because of their extremist religous views toward a lot of issues, including homosexuality. I have not attached myself to any church since because I think they all tend to be extremist. I had to look at it from the viewpoint of one who thought her father was gay, the man I relied on to protect me. I thought my father was wrong in a lot of his behavior, but it was wrong for his society to make him feel there was no way out but suicide. I fought his suicidal tendencies my whole life. And I continued to fight the condemnation that causes bisexual men to be suicidal.
With legalized abortion, we may get such extremist views from both camps, it can only lead to extreme violence! This is what we need to try to prevent if we possibly can by sounding the voices of moderation, moderation. All people's thinking on this issue is very important in order to prevent a clash between uncompromising camps that could produce another great national tragedy. There needs to be dialogue and a lot of it about what can be done to be more moderate. I am a great believer in the power of thought coming from the many.
You can google FOCA. I copied and pasted it and have it among my papers. I also copied a timeline on abortion since it was legalized. I am trying to get myself as well informed as possible. I am also going to speak out as a democrat objecting to the idea that the democratic party is the party of abortion. I know there are a lot of democrats who just aren't considering and speaking out about this issue if it means clashing with more vocal extremist leaders, but if they want to protect their young leader, they will get very knowledgeable about a very dangerous issue. Trying to find a path of moderation that will not lead to violence.
Trying to force Catholic hospitals to do abortions by law if they do anything with women in the gynocological and obstretrical fields is extremist. I suppose they are furious at how strongly the Catholics continue to fight legalized abortion, and tend to think they need to be soundly defeated, destroyed if possible. FOCA purports that abortion should be an untouchable right, indicating that the Catholic opposition to it since the 3rd century is completely wrong! That is extremist thinking and will lead to violence. I have often wondered if abortion extremists would ever be satisfied without more late term abortions, less restrictions. The ban on partial abortion infuriated them for example. Mothers will die! How many mothers are actually going to die because the gruesome practice of partial birth abortion (tearing apart the child no matter how late term)is banned? FOCA retrieves that abortion right by overturning the ban. Angry extremist thinking. Dangerous thinking.
Extremists create war when peace would be better. Bush, for example, showed his extremist thinking that war was the only solution and far over extended the US in war after 9/11. To heck with the cost. The world was going to tolerate his war against bin Laden but it was a good deal less supportive of his invasion of Iraq, and eventually hardly anybody seemed to have supported this war, but did he allow their reservations to stop him? Well, he moved too fast, catching many off guard still trying to access what to do after 9/11 which shocked and threw everyone off balance. We will have to forgive Bush because of his brash haste in invading another country, but he was our leader, and as he reminded us it was his decision to make and then try to marshall our support later. Reluctantly we gave it. By the end of his term we are hardly even showing him enough respect to listen to him talk, president or not. Extremists will suffer such consequences and worse.

Gerry focuses on Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA)

I made 5 videos this morning on this topic before I could get satisfied. This one has Doc saying quite a bit which was better than one where he said nothing and I did all the talking. I try to strike a happy medium when I am making a video on a topic I am concerned about. He is asking me on the one I picked why I put him in the video, and I tell him he is the voice of dissent and disagreement sitting right beside me sometimes saying what a viewer might be thinking. Anyway, I wanted to make a video registering my thinking on this topic and here it is.

Freedom of Choice act designed to remove limits on abortion under Obama alarms Catholic Bishops

Bishops Vow to Fight Obama Abortion Agenda
By Mark Impomeni
Nov 12th 2008 10:00PM
Filed Under:eBarack Obama, Religion, Abortion, Obama Administration

The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, meeting this week in Baltimore, took steps to mount an unprecedented campaign against a signature initiative of a major political party, vowing to aggressively oppose President-elect Obama and the Democrats in their efforts to pass the Freedom of Choice Act. The bill, sponsored by California Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA), and which Obama said would be among the first pieces of legislation he would sign if elected, would eliminate all conditions placed on access to abortions in the United States. It would also invalidate every state law designed to reduce abortions. The bishops vowed to fight the measure in Congress, and take it to court if it becomes law.

Auxiliary Bishop Thomas Paprocki, of President-elect Obama's hometown of Chicago, said that passage of FOCA could have "devastating consequences" for Catholic hospitals nationwide. The bill would make it illegal for church-run hospitals to refuse to perform abortions if they also provide gynecologic and obstetric services. Currently, some states allow exceptions for religious hospitals from performing medical services that they may find morally objectionable. Paprocki said that the bill's passage could result in the closing of all Catholic-run hospitals in the country.

"It could mean discontinuing obstetrics in our hospitals, and we may need to consider taking the drastic step of closing our Catholic hospitals entirely. It would not be sufficient to withdraw our sponsorship or to sell them to someone who would perform abortions. That would be a morally unacceptable cooperation in evil.

I do not think I'm being alarmist in considering such drastic steps. We need to respond in a morally appropriate, responsible fashion."

The bishops concluded their discussion of the proposed law by issuing a statement seeking areas of common ground with the incoming Obama Administration, but asserting the church's opposition to abortion. "The church is also resolute in opposing evil," the statement said. "[The bishops are] completely united and resolute in our teaching and defense of the unborn child from the moment of conception."

Abortion was not a big issue in the presidential campaign. Sen. John McCain briefly raised the issue in the third presidential debate, after the narrative of the election had already been long set. Obama did take criticism from conservatives and pro-life groups for his advocacy as a state senator for a bill that would have denied medical care to infants that survived an abortion attempt. Obama voted for against the Born Alive Infants Protection Act on three separate occasions and spoke against the bill on the floor of the Illinois Senate. Now that he has won the election, Catholic bishops are seeking to remind Obama that 54% of Catholics voted for him, despite his opposition to the church's teaching on abortion, while trying to reassert control over their wayward flock."

This article on the Internet today has me alarmed. I did not think I would have to worry about the abortion picture worsening under Obama so soon. I can only hope such an initiative will not pass! I have posted it in my blog G4Life on http://www.azcentral.com and written a letter of protest to the Arizona Republic which I believe like most of the newspapers has tried to ignore the subject Here is my letter to them in essence:

Arizona Republic:
I say the biggest problem any country has is what is causing the most deaths, and for years, the million abortion deaths a year are hardly even mentioned in a seemingly endless campaign for president. Why didn't McCain go for broke and force the topic on people? Now we have got the Catholic Church facing a "Freedom of Choice" act sponsored by democrat Barbara Boxer of California that they say if Obama signs will force Catholic hospitals to perform abortions if they are to provide gynocological and birthing services to women, which some states now do not require. All restrictions on abortion the states have passed will be null and void. The Catholic Church which believes life begins at conception say they will close their hospitals before they will perform abortions. And we have an Obama who has never known anything but legalized abortion the last 35 years of his life. The Catholics may appeal to a sense of wrong in abortion he has not developed.
I did not think my stomach would have to begin roiling so soon after the election, and I would need to get busy again protesting. I have long been a democrat for life. I view my party as not the party of abortion but the party that did so much for civil rights. I am against people who think they can dictate what democrats are to think is wrong or right. As a democrat for right to life I am pledging to fight against the "Freedom of Choice" act, which if passed without enough numbers to filbuster could mean that abortion rights would be untouchable. It would also sweep away the ban againste partial-birth abortion passed by the Supreme Court! It would be abortion rights with hardly any restrictions. Is this how you go about considering both the baby and the mother? There is a tremendous lack of balance here, a failure to recognize that a mother is geared by nature to protect her young. People who say that is not necessary are violating not only the laws of higher powers, but natures laws. Is this wisdom?

Gerry King Hitt
Phoenix, AZ 85004

Lets see, where am I?

I do have to take stock of my world now and then. I finally recovered from the migration and am now trying to set up a routine on blogspot. Plus make my videos which I must do to keep Doc from driving me crazy. We are getting ready to film the third and last episode on the Intelligence series tomorrow, but today we did a series I wanted to do about Planning my next life time. It turned out that this needed to be done to keep me from taking up with any more alcoholics in my next life. Doc being one of the worst alcoholics on earth has cured me. That will no longer be my mission. But this is the alcoholic age. Which I talk about in our series. Doc is burning the disc right now. So you see we never lack for subjects and will probably be making videos right up until our demise. He will either drink himself to death or he will drink me to death.
I enjoy making these videos of conversations between people. I suggest that you all do it, too, if you have the camera. Photos are good but videos are even better. I would love to view a conversation on film between you and your husband, or BF or whoever is around.
I have been shocked about what has happened to several journalists, including Carlene of Horseshoe Bend who had a very bad fall and broke her wrist in all kinds of ways. She is laid up for I don't know how long. I relate to Carlene because she and I have both made our living waitressing. I write and read a lot and I thought my partially disabled body would go right straight to hell if I did not get an active job. I feel sorry for women who do have to work at sit down jobs. By the time they get to and fro from work and their families taken care of they have no time to run 30 minutes on the treadmill, and as a result are gaining weight. I am sure Carlene will recover because she is in shape from running probably ten miles a shift, especially an eleven hour one which is an eternity in waitress work. She is such a worker, though, she probably had to fall before she would take a much needed rest.
Then came a huge shock with Donna having a heart attack and three bypass surgery. I have snagged so many of her graphics. I just hope she can cut back on her busy schedule, stop smoking or whatever else the doctor recommended as we want to see her around for a long time, even if she must limit herself. All of us have benefited from her journal This and That and Hockey, too. I think of her as the ultimate hockey mom. Sarah Palin gave her a little run for her money nationally, but nobody could be a more devoted fan of her beloved hockey team than Donna. I am sure all of you have the links to the journals of these two well known bloggers. Great ones, both of them.
Now I must confess that my life long habit of reading so limits my journal reading time I am not able to get around to everybody very often. It may be months before I see you, but when I run onto a book like Cherie Blair with a subtitle like "Speaking Up for Myself" I just have to stop and read. This memoir by the wife of the formeer Prime Minister of England, Tony Blair, is just fascinating to me. I just read where Hillary and Bill came to stay with them, and then they went to the U.S. and visited them at the White House. I did not know a thing about Cherie Blair, so I have hardly been able to lay the book down. But I regard her as just another journalist I just have to read.
I also just read a memoir called "Madness" about a bi polar woman with one of the worst cases of mental illness I have read about. It is by Marya Hornbacher who also wrote "Wasted" about her anorexia and bilimia. I am interested because I think my sister who was bilimic might have been bi polar and even though she died of ovarian cancer, she might have evaded that had she not been too manic and too depressed in cycles. Perhaps there are a lot more women with extreme mood swings who are not able to handle cancer threats in order to save their lives. Perhaps a mental illness contributes to their demise. I feel I need to investigate and this memoir is a riveting piece of writng. I got these two books at the public library, just hot off the press.
So if you don't see me often, but I have read you before, I will be back in time to check how you are doing. I read as much as I can and this is the best I can do. And I will understand if you don't read my journal very often either. I am not going to send out a notice every time I post, just once in a while if I really want to call your attention to one. I think in the age of blogging we all have tons to read we can't get around to, blogs we want to read, books we want to read, videos we want to watch. I noted that Donna was covering a lot of journals and she may have to cut back. Boring but sometimes necessary. I don't know if Carlene can even type in her condition. So what do you think?

II- Painting outside the lines intellect

Why did Gerry get incarcerated in a mental hospital, and why did Doc live in a bush, if they are intelligent?

Will Doc and I have to wait for another lifetime to become rich and famous?

Poor Doc and I with so little time left to make our mark in the world. Today we filmed a series on intelligence. We both thought we were very intelligent and are shocked to find outselves on the bottom rung of the ladder of success, fame, and wealth at the end of our lives. Of course we knew this was happening for some time, but I, for sure, thought my big break would surely come after so patiently waiting. Now it looks like I am going to have to come back for another life time to get anywhere. I just read this book called "Many Lifetimes" and also another book about India's foremost mystic guru who gave me the idea that if at first you don't succeed in this life time, you must plan for another right away. So let's see where would I start and what should I aim for?
But in the meantime I must finish up this life, writing on my two blogs and making videos which will surely not land either one of us on the front page of the Internet. I see Jane Fonda on there this morning, but she had the good fortune to be born to a famous actor, Henry Fonda, and then there is Ted Turner, her ex, who acquired great wealth. They were both asked on 60 minutes. I doubt that Doc and I are going to be asked on 60 minutes, but we did make three videos this morning on our plight. I am a humble person. I didn't want to be any more rich and famous than I deserve, and it is apparent that fate took me serious, and decided that fame and fortune is generally bad for people, so if I didn't mind, I would not receive any.
I know I get sick of rich and famous people very fast. Maybe that was the problem. I did not want to become who I did not like. I never even liked rich people let alone famous ones. I made sure I never met any of those. I hardly know one famous person. But the unknowns being so modest so willing to be nobodies bothers me. I think, well they should have a little more publicity seeking in them. A little more pride in theier worth, so they aren't so content to let other people have all the attention and them none.
Doc even got to expand a little more in this new series we made. I put the spotlight on him which he generally tries to avoid. I couldn't really let him say anything if he didn't want to. He has mostly wished he was dead, but now he seems to be a little less devoted to bringing about his demise. Hey, maybe he is ready to ask for a little more out of life.

Gerry and Doc talk about gay marriage and why they voted for or against

Gay marriage from the perspective of one who believed her father was gay

I grew up with the idea that my father was gay, but he was never honest about it, and he was one of the angriest men I have ever known. I understood even then some of the reasons he was not honest about it. We were living in Mormon Utah, and he would not have been rewarded in any way I thought for telling the truth. Finding himself gay, he was in a no win situation.
I always thought that being able to tell the truth was very important, and if others made it too hard for people to tell the truth, they were not valuing the truth either. This included my mother and the good Mormons around her. My father was a son of a man with more property than any rancher in town. My mother saw money in her future if she married my father, who was about 26 at the time, (she was all of 18) and I always thought that she, too, behaved with absolute fury when my father fell short of her ideal in husbands. She became an even angrier woman than he was man.
Without ever facing, of course, why he found himself unable to be an ideal husband, she was doomed to one of the most unhappy marriages I have ever witnessed. I could not see any fixing it. I just thought that they would have to muddle along taking care of their five children the best they could together, since neither was capable of taking care of them by themselves. I feared I would not even survive with my mother, and my father drank too much so he could not be trusted either. She needed to be there when his alcoholism got out of hand.
Obviously marriage was not working for a normal woman and a gay man. Had my father not become so addicted to alcohol, I could have pictured him in quite a happy relationship with one guy he seemed to prefer for a long time. But gay marriage? Obviously that idea was way ahead of our time.
I see that Mormons have infuriated the gay community by fighting gay marriage as though it was evil incarnate. Well, that is the way the religious tend to approach homosexuality, which means there are going to be a lot of angry people on both sides for years to come.
I did not regard it as an issue I needed to fight against, nor was I particularly for it, but I voted against it because I feel like a lot of issues need to be dealt with first. I came to knowledge about my father through molestation by two of his partners who had come to hate him. Their homosexual connection created a very disturbing element in it for me since that was so tough to fight. I could not tell about the molesting any more than I could reveal that I thought my father was gay. I wanted to scream at my father at five years old, you made this man furious by snubbing him on your weekend parties with younger guys, so he grabbed me! I witnessed my father in the trappings of what I thought was a sexual affair with this guy before the molesting began, and I thought of my mother at home with a new baby, and how angry she would be if she knew that every few days he went to this guy's cabin and spent at least an hour inside with him, while instructing me and my sister to go play and not bother them. My mind was just whirling with the magnitude of what I was witnessing with worse to come. The affair in my father's mind palled, he was much younger, this guy was too old in spite of being highly sexual which I found out when he molested me. My mother even said that he was too old and ugly for my father to take with him when the older guy became angry at being left home to do the chores. Unconsciously she was picking up on the sexual interplay between them without actually ever expressing her suspicions in so many words. If she even thought about homosexuality which I came to doubt. But she was angry all the time at my dad, and now I pretty much knew what he was doing to deserve her upset. She was really in a pickle I thought. You think children can't be that wise? If they have to deal with terrible situations they wise up in a hurry. Survival depends on it.
Anyway, out of that very rough beginning I developed a life time interest mainly in bisexual men who liked women, too, reminscent of my father.
Noel Coward despised men who used women sexually for advantage who actually preferred men he thought. So there are all kinds of reasons why a bisexual man will take up with a woman. But some I think have genuine feelings for women which they think were thwarted by molestation by males. A man intervenes in a young boy's sexual life, and then what is he? He may not even know if he did not have that orientation before molestation. He does not know what he could have been.
Early molestation is a very big problem here, naturally what parents greatly fear, not so much the homosexual but the homosexual pedofile who might in some way benefit from legal gay marriage. Which fear tends to make gays furious. However, I do not think that the mainstream of gays are willing to concede that pedofiles are a huge problems, both heterosexual and homosexual. If gays aren't concerned enough about the problem, this is cause for alarm, because it is perceived by parents as being soft on sexual interplay involving children.
I think at the present there is far too little dialogue between the different factions. Gays, to my mind, need to play a more activist role if they are going to get people to understand that their motives for wanting the right to legal gay marriage will not threaten society in basic ways. I get along with lesbian women very well because we are both women I think. I get along with bisexuals who are grateful that I try to understand them and am genuinely attracted to them if I feel their emotion is real. But gays in general I have a very tough time with. I think gays tend to be extremely angry, so if difficult subjects are brought up, such as molestation they may get so furious no dialogue is possible. All we can do is retreat to our different corners with an abyss between.
At the present I would say that gays are so sick of prejudice they have preferred isolating themselves from heterosexuals to mixing and mingling and trying to get along, especially when a great deal of ignorance and blind acceptance of religous values are involved. I can hardly blame them for that, but such blind acceptance helps no one. I left the church partly over this issue. I could not get my own thoughts about it accepted, even though I am not gay. I thought the religious became completely irrational when they had to deal with the specifics of a life style sexually different than their own.
Bisexuals existed long before my time. My father was by no means the first bisexual cowboy who has come along the pike. The work lends its self to guys who like to camp out with guys. I would say there are a lot of reasons why bisexuality develops among men who are isolated from women for certain periods of time in their work. But I believe my father to have been introduced to homosexual practices very young, so his development could probably also be attributed to molestation. I think that might be the primary reason he wanted to marry and father children. He was trying to be normal.
But he and my mother had no understanding about it, which I think became an insurmounatable problem in their having any kind of successful marriage. I blame my mother more for this than my father, because she punished him for not being normal. Everything was his fault. And she had a hair trigger temper and made us all suffer. My father had to protect me from her, since she found out she could hurt him by being mean to his children. She went a little crazy is all I can say.
Gay marriage might be a good idea but I think there needs to be a lot more dialogue about it, obviously, and absolutely furious people on both sides are not very apt to have meaningful dialogue.

I am so excited! I want to go to L.A.!

I had to laugh at Raymond. On his way to Salt Lake he called me and said that he had just talked to Kurt that morning who is in New York and is slated to come out and direct his one man show in Los Angeles. He said Kurt was beside himself with excitement because he has never had an occasion to come to Los Angeles especially to direct a new work. While they were talking, Ken Harding called from Los Angeles, Raymond's actor friend who lives there, and he was beside himself with excitement to hear Raymond had the money to produce the show and would soon be coming to set up camp! Now I am getting beside myself with excitement because I suddenly realized I could take a bus to Los Angeles, stay with Pam, and she and I could take in the show! (Nurse Pam) As we have been trying to get together for some time. I must tell Kelli, too, who lives there in the general vicinity. I would like to get to see her, too. (Noonmom)
I have gone to Los Angeles a number of times by car and on the bus back when. But it is so exciting when people create an original event. It is not necessary to become world famous, it is just necessary to make the world a more interesting place by taking a chance and getting a play out there!
I found out that at the time I proposed this plan to Pam she had already proposed a plan somewhat like it in a comment on my blog. Our minds were clearly running on the same track.

Son Raymond to take his one man show to Los Angeles

I have posted this photo of Raymond because this was taken at the Boulder Heritage Festival last summer, which will sponsor his show. Raymond has raised the money which will be awarded to him. He plans to move in about ten days to Los Angeles. A friend of his who has acted the lead in several of his plays has urged him to move to Los Angeles where he has lived for several years. Raymond was born in Glendale, a suburb of Los Angeles, and I took him there to live at least 4 more times. He got a part in Lisa and David when he was in the 8th grade, and he returned to attend Burbank High School in his senior year because the same teacher who cast him in that play was teaching drama at Burbank. She cast him in "Harvey" for which he won an "Oscar" for best high school performance of the year.
I remember Randy Stone, Jodie Foster's great pal, reputed to be the father of her two children, was one of this classmates. Randy died a couple of years ago of a heart problem which greatly saddened Jodie.
I always thought Raymond was my California baby, but he never returned because he was so busy trying to do his original plays in Phoenix. Now he is moving to Los Angeles for the winter and will continue to summer in Boulder. He has his dad's old trailer fixed up, where he can live very cheaply. He is excited now, after all these years, about what Los Angeles might hold for him.
In spite of the bad economy, he is one who has raised money and is launching off with his one man show in one of the biggest and most exciting cities in the world. His show consists of original songs and about seven monologues about different people in his past, including his singing dad, his writing mom, and other family figures. Aside from that, he has an arsenal of original plays to do in Los Angeles in years to come, if all goes well.
I could not be happier that my California baby is returning 'home.' I have a good feeling about this. I think Los Angeles will reward him for his perseverence in writing plays, working on his guitar playing and singing, and writing songs.
He will come through here in about ten days to drop belongings off and gather up some necessary items to set up housekeeping. I asked him if he would not take the time to make a video for me, and he said he would!

Another dialogue on legalized abortion

I would like to respond to some of my commenters to my entry after the election, clearing up, first, some of their perceptions about what I think of Obama. I was happy for the joy of many blacks to see an African American ascend to the white house, but I have come to ask more of everyone who aspires to lead us. Years ago, when legalized abortion caused a huge leap in the death of the unborn, I had to make a choice about what to do about it. First let me say I am a strong believer in the spirit. I was in the process of being murdered after five hours of torture by my insane husband one time at the age of 20. All feeling ceased. I perceived a light descending and I knew somehow it was Christ who had meant a lot to me as a child growing up facing a lot of trouble. I looked up as all feeling in my body ceased. A would be killer's hands were around my neck ready to squeeze the last bit of life out of me, and he recognized the look in my eyes as ecstacy at the thought of seeing Christ, knowing I would soon be in his presence. He threw me down on the bed and said, "I would kill you but it wouldn't do any good."
I felt I had been saved by Christ. My drunk Jack Mormon husband had actually descended from the Prophet Smith's family, and he was religious enough that he processed what was happening and did not murder me. I never doubted that I would have important work to do on this earth.
I believe when we stand before God which I expect to do in a few years, it would be hard to defend not fighting against so many of the unborn being killed. I think those who have more wisdom than we possess, those with a higher power ask us not to kill, and there are many in this country who have been taught in their churches that aborting a child is wrong, including Catholics and Mormons, of which I was one through my twenties. Right now these churches' record in fighting abortion is good.
Why do people proseletyze? A lot of the reason is because they do not think that others have had the opportunity to grow up in a society that tries to welcome every child that is conceived to life. I did not have it easy as a child. My father was also a rebel, a Jack Mormon, and he caused my mother terrible grief in the marriage which I particularly noted as a child. I thought he was gay and his life of affairs and neglect of her drove my mother out of her mind. She aborted one child herself, and I greatly feared she might try it again and die, but she was finally able to persuade a doctor to give her a tubal ligation so her pregnancies ended after five live births.
I think we will be able to have sensible dialogues about legalized abortion as long as people don't get very angry. I detected quite a bit of anger from some of the commenters. I write a blog on http://www.azcentral.com called g4life, so am accustomed to getting some very angry comments on this subject. But too much anger will get us nowhere. When a law is perceived as bad, as leading to too many deaths, to fight it requires more risk of extreme conflict. I believe at least 80 percent of the media are pro choice, which means if you are pro life, you will not be liked by these people. If you are a playwright, they will turn up their noses at your pro life writings. In many ways you will have to suffer for your belief because you are actually fighting the law of the land, but what if you believe that the law of the land is at odds with the laws of God?
Will you be justified if you go along with the law of the land? To a degree, I think, especially the young who have grown up with such laws, but in order to come out of what you believe is a dark night of the soul, you will have to fight such laws. The Supreme Court, consisting of just a few, changed this country across the land with Roe vs Wade making abortion legal in the whole country. What made it more acceptable is that Russia had already legalized it as had China to name the big ones. Aside from the fact that these countries were also responsible for killing millions of their own citizens with their totalitarian regimes, we were now in step. But the Supreme Court went against many Churches and their teachings about the wrongness of abortion by legalizing it. So I am not alone here in fighting it.
I happen to think that church teachings are right about a lot of thngs. Mormonism has kept thousands of young men from becoming alcoholics by preaching a strict Word of Wisdom against alcohol, drugs, and tobacco. I credit their teachings from keeping me from ever trying any of them. I am sure my children thanks them. My rebellious father and my ex husbands caused their families endless grief by becoming addicted to at least two of them.
I am willing to continue to reason all day about these beliefs. Do you angry commenters tell Catholics, Mormons, and people of other Christian faiths that teach abortion is wrong that they are full of crap? If you do you will not get far in a dialogue to find agreement. Or maybe you won't even talk to a 'religious' person very long you are so full of resentment about what you perceived as your persecution by the righteous.
If you feel that way, it is possible you may have been mistreated in the name of religion. That could be so in my opinion. Which is why years of dialogue and control of the emotions is ncessary from opposing sides to make progress.
As long as we don't get too angry, we won't close the door to those who disagree with us.

New Times Editor, Michael Lacey, prints my letter about his endless feud with Sheriff Joe Arpaio

Here is my letter to Michael Lacey in full. I sent it to his New York e-mail address where he has another paper. I respect him very much for printing it.

Dear Michael:

Surely you know that when an intoxicated alien hit Officer Figuoroa's vehicle causing his death, this would personify to the public what illegals do that drives law enforcement crazy.
I lived on the westside for 20 years in an area 90 percent Mexican (Fillmore and 35th ave) and I witnessed people being shot right in front of my eyes in gang wars, fighting for their turf. I witnessed a whole lot of public intoxication. I can relate to both sides, and I thought that when the day came that they would try to close the borders there would be a big reaction and plenty of trouble for all on both sides. I knew Mexicans who had been deported I don't know how many times and walked back. The US was still the best place to be A gang used to carry their machine guns up the stairs next to my apartment and were involved in a shooting at a party, where they shot five people and two of them died. Police stopped the leader and he shot himself. Remember that? Those guys hung out with my neighbor.
An alien ex BF shot a woman I knew there, and she knew law enforcement would never be able to find him, so she did, and went to court to testify against him, even though his friends called and threatened to kill her if she did. She did trusting the police to protect her when she went into hiding after the trial. They did burn her car. Illegals were always involved in some kind of shooting because it was so hard for law enforcement to track them down when they could run back and forth to Mexico, or to Calif. if need be and then could come back without even any fear when the furor died down.
I would say law enforcement especially now operating even closer to the bone because of how hard the bad economy has hit Arizona is really going to have it tough to enforce tougher immigration policies.
Arpaio is probably going to win, so are you going to allow yourself to be driven completely insane by your anger at this man? I have missed you sane this past year. The best way you are going to beat Arpaio now is to return to good journalism, writing on other subjects besides this man. You have exhausted this subject, especially if he is going to win another term. You can't stop him.
Things happen. In jails. But we should be able to make our highways safer from all the illegals violations of the traffic laws resulting in death and mayhem on a daily basis. They are poor, bound to drive cars and get drunk, even if they have no registration, license of anything else, and one bad accident later may or may not be taken off the street.

Gerry King Hitt

Joe Arpaio did win. The traffic accident where an illegal caused the death of a young police officer and father on the highway just by running into his vehicle dead drunk insured that. He could have been any of us. Unfortunately for all the illegals, too many break the laws in ways that endanger everybody. Joe Arpaio, whatever his character may be, however little you like him, has cracked down on illegal immigration.

Gerry is somber over election results

I am still sad and worried after election is over

I got up this morning at 4am and listened to more election results, went down and got a paper, and breakfasted at Doc's apartment, where he had set up the camera for an after election video. We made three ten minute videos on the subject. I chose the third one which I uploaded to Youtube before I ate breakfast. He was, of course happy, because his candidate won.
I came home and went to my family site where my sister and her daughter were celebrating the victory of Obama. I decided I would have to compose an entry later that would not offend the Obama supporters too much. I then composed an entry for my g4life on http://www.azcentral.com. I had read the editorial page of the Arizona Republic down to Doc's and decided I needed to write a letter to them, as the blog likely would not reach many people. If they print it, I will put it in my blog.
Now I am back deciding what I can write on my blogspot Daughters of the Shadow Men which will not upset too many people. The life of a protestor soon results in utmost lack of popularity, as people become wary of an opinionated person on a very difficult subject. Abortion is committed by over a million people a year who ahere to the idea there is nothing wrong with it. These people become extremely hardened to protest.
I have an African-American grandson. Like Obama, his father was from an African country, and like him, his mother is white and for about 3 or 4 years I helped raise him, until my daughter's husband adopted him and has since taken very good care of him, my daughter, and their smaller son. There is nothing I would like more than to see life improve for black people in this country, but this progress cannot be at the expense of the unborn, the way I look at things.
I think that the moral bankruptcy that resulted from the millions of deaths of the unborn since Roe vs Wade has led to financial bankruptcy. We threw out our moral compasses. We no longer listened to the 'still small voice.' We took a step that had up to now never been taken in this country. We bought the idea that it takes so many deaths of the unborn to 'improve' society. By now all these children being taken out of their misery should not have led to this deep hole in which we find ourselves.
Wealthy and famous media figures are too protected and isolated from the suffering citizenry to see what their promoting of this hedonistic philsophy of life has wrought. Black people are too overjoyed to see that victory comes with a tremendous cost. If Obama tries to throw off the chains of his democratic benefactors who support this philosophy of death he will run into a firestorm. We did not see that last night. The enemy is not centered among the violent racists, whose sins are on a lesser scale. It is centered now in the supporters of legalized abortion, because of the millions of deaths. There is no comparison. The unborn have now become the victims of a relentless never ending holocaust in many countries of the world. I am afraid that it might take the end of the world to stop it because the defenders of legalized abortion have become all of us.
Killing is necessary to how many for the good life. Blacks will embrace this philosphy of life at great peril. They have already not been treated well in this country. To embrace those who think killing is all right is to embrace the poisonous serpent in our midst which we must dispel from ourselves.
I will call attention to this fact for you, my black friends. Beware of the serpent.

Gerry and Doc talk about election day among the po' fokes

John Edwards gets messages from those who have passed

I decided that since we have a long day and night ahead of us on election day, it is a good time to talk about what happens when we die. John Edwards who you have probably all seen on a TV program called "Crossing Over" has a book out called "One Last Time" which I read yesterday with intense interest. I do intend to come back, so I want to find out as much as I can from these mediums on how to do it. He says that when those spirits who have passed find out their relatives are considering going to him so they can deal with the agony of their deaths some of these spirits immediately start contacting him from that side. They have even come to his house and woke him up with messages they want him to give to their suffering loved ones.
John says one of the most notable and persistent ones during his years of mediumship was a 16 year old teen named Andy who was killed in a bike accident. His parents were so devastated they could hardly function. Andy went to a lot of trouble to provide signs to them that he was okay, he was hanging out with his grandfather and other relatives. I could hardly believe the urgent messages he gave to John, waking hm up out of s sound sleep. He also says another spirit he saw quite a lot of was a 3 year old boy who drowned in the backyard pool when his parents took their eyes off him a moment.
That story was so sad. His mother dropped something made of glass on the floor and was very intent on getting up every sliver of glass so her 9 year old and 3 year old would not step on it. Ironically while she was beng so conscientious, she lost her focus momentarily over the whereabouts of the 3 year old. When they went to find him, they discovered him face up in the pool. They had to turn off life support because it had been too long and he could not be brought back. According to John, this was a shock to the boy as well as to the Mom, but his mother felt so guilty and responsible she just could not recover, so John said this boy came to him for a number of years requesting help. He would get a glimpse of him here and there. He became a familiar sight. Finally after quite a few years, John said he and the boy Mikey agreed that it was time to move on, the parents had somewhat recovered from this tragedy in their lives.
John said that was why he became a medium, because some deaths were so devastating that family members were in danger of going down, too. Which seems like quite a good purpose for being a medium. John said he came from a big Italian family with a number of members interested in psychic phenomonon including his uncle and his mom. His mom died quite suddenly, as my last companion did, of lung cancer which had of course been progressing quite a while without her realizing it. He said she told him that she would return to give him a sign she was all right. And this was how she did it. He dreamed that he saw her in a purple coat she had had for quite a few years. This dream caused them to look for the purple coat which they could not find. It had just disappeared. Some time later he happened to have had contact with a dry cleaner his mom sometimes used, who said, "Oh, by the way, I have something for you." He handed him a package with the purple coat in it. He said, "Your mom paid for this coat to be cleaned and then never came to pick it up, so here it is!" Albeit unconsciouly, he thinks his mom realized the purple coat was still in the cleaners, so she came to him in a dream wearing the purple coat which called it to his attention, causing a search, and then eventually he was inspired to go to the cleaners who had it and gave it to him, just so he would believe even more strongly that she was in really in contact with him.
I have often had dreams like that through the years. He said that those who have passed on have to figure out a way to send such signals, so that family members will believe contact has been made with a spirit. Or they will get the warning message, whatever the loved one wants to tell them. After I read this book, last night I received a visitation from Pierre, probably because he died of lung cancer just as John Edward's mother did. It was the best visitation I have had from him since he died. He said he was very grateful for all the help he received from me when he was dying and he wanted to repay me. He said he would be there when I passed over. I recalled that ours was the best sexual relationship I ever had despite the fact he was a bisexual, because he was kind. So we talked quite a long time about the bisexual aspect of his personality, which I knew had drawn him to me because of how I talked about my father who I also thought was bisexual. It was something he could never have talked about to his family as they, being religious, so highly disapproved of homosexuality that he did not think they could handle it. In fact, he said that was why he always lied about it because nobody could handle the truth, he thought, until I came along. Even then he could not bring himself to admit it, even though he allowed me to tell him I thought he was bisexual and why.
He said he was ready now to give up his bisexuality, which he regards as something like an addiction. He says he was capable of caring deeply for a woman but he had gotten into these relationships with males when he was very young. I figured out a lot of the reasons as I talked to him about his early history when he was alive. He was very boyish looking even in his 60's, small, and good looking, so I figured he had been pursued by gays from an early age. He said this was so, and he was tempted and succumbed enough to develop the addiction. When he met me, he said that he was too close to the end of his life to give it up, so he still acted on his attraction to guys, which is what broke us up about a year before he died. He was already experiencing an alarming degree of pain, so I continued to take him to the doctor. I had already seen him through a critical back surgery when 5 discs had to be fused to keep him becoming a cripple. That was very scarey since they threw him out of the hospital after one day and I had to look after him. I was not even a nurse!
The guy who broke us up of course was not capable of looking after anyone since he was a bad alcoholic. He said he felt very guilty about having to depend on me to help him die after he had not treated me well. He does not think Doc is treating me well by continuing to drink so much so we can have no sexual relationship whatsoever, but he recognizes that Doc has a big problem with his sexuality. Doc has been punishing women over his nightmarish first marriage his whole life, and like Pierre, habit prevails and he is unable to stop his downward course toward self destruction. He is not a bisexual. He is not sexual with anyone. It must have taken quite a few years to kill his sexual drive altogether, but he apparently feels less rage and pain when he is not having any kind of sexual relationship with a woman even though he enjoys their companionship and tries to have a relationship that does not include sex. Pierre who was not that messed up in his mind thinks that is cruel, and it is, but Doc cannot help himself at this point.
Pierre was grieving when I knew him because although he could have sex, he had not been able to get hard enough to penetrate for quite a few years. He had lost that function after his first back surgeries he said, before he met me. Now he says that capacity has been restored to him, so he no longer feels like a cripple. He says it is a mind thing that you take with you when you die, even though you leave the body behind which has usually become non functional someway. He says he feels that he was more a true and loving husband to me in life than anyone has been. He says he would not hesitate to renew his relationship with me despite what Doc says because it was as strong as it was in life. I have told Doc that Pierre's and my sexual life was pretty good but he chooses not to believe me. Pierre thinks he could rival Doc with intellectuality now better than when he was alive because he has been working on his addiction problems ever since he died, include his sexual addictions, which he thinks makes him more advanced than Doc. That is true. Doc has not dealt with the physical aspect of love at all for 10 or 15 years which seems very strange. Makes him seem like a 102 already.
But men at our age are often sexually dysfuctional. Well women are, too, so a sexual relationship may not exist in most people's lives for years. Too bad.
I am glad John Edward's book inspired a visit from Pierre.