Terrible fatigue eases as a voice evokes the presence of God and you feel you are not alone in pushing the boulder up the hill to save lives

As I listened to the Ending Abortion telecast yesterday, along in the afternoon a man came on from New York I think, an activist whose faith had its origins in Catholicism, and his voice evoked the presence of God which I do not hear very often as this task of trying to end abortion has been so formidable even the churches have had a hard time focusing on it. His strength was so healing. The fatigue that I had begun to think was just a part of aging and was going to be with me now until I died began to ease. It had been making even the simplest task seem too hard to do. A couple of hours later it was gone for the first time in weeks! I felt I had had a miracle of healing I sorely needed. If the dedication in that man could do this for me, I thought, what can it do for one of the greatest and most difficult tasks this world has faced, ending abortion. Not only our country but many more have gone down the primrose path resulting in millions of deaths all over the world of the most innocent.
No woman has the right to choose a procedure that will harm another, most of all, the child she has been designed by nature to protect, but the focus has been on the rights of women and not on the rights of the fetus. I felt that many on the telecast were seeking new ways to persuade and reach hearts without harsh judgment, but love and understanding. Women have been vulnerable to those who have claimed their rights are threatened. Our rights are always threatened. Women have always had difficulty rising above the status of second class citizens. Which explains to me why legalized abortion got so many supporters among women with the idea of protecting their right to choose.
How painful it is to acknowledge that the path was lost through not acknowledging all that legalized abortion does. A pregnancy which can seem like such a burden taken away through legal means. How could something legalized be that wrong? After we have grown used to it, how can we fight to stop it? How can we instead embrace the child into this crowded world? Isn't that asking too much? Wouldn't it be better as we have been led to consider for those who have not even begun to live to die rather than all of us suffer a terrible decline in our standard of living with too many mouths to feed? Impossible!
How can we believe in a God who asks too much of us? We have to have faith. We have always had to have faith that God will provide. Do the right thing and and the way will open up.
God cannot grace us with his presence unless we tackle the job he asks us to do which is to save lives, to end the holocaust, no matter how difficult. Yesterday afternoon I understood that God can only live in righteousness. He cannot grace us with his presence when we are doing wrong. God is in the difficult. He is created by man doing the impossible.
The man who evoked the presence of God had given up his regular job to work full time as a pro life activist. He had felt his needs would be provided for if he committed himself to the job that needed to be done. How strong he felt. How inspiring. I felt a tear coming. I was not alone. This man had come to help push the giant boulder up the hill and he would not stop until the work was done. He was in the long haul to save lives.
God had called and some had answered. That was enough for now. There was still a great deal of work to be done, but after resting a few hours I would be up to a job, this little job of writing a message to inspire and help build conviction. God has blessed this movement. He will help those who have stepped forward to do what seems impossible now, but which must be tackled.

Am listening to the EndingAbortion.com live web cast now

I am going to be listening to the web cast throughout the day as I like to get as much new information as I can on how the fight against abortion is going. I just listened to a young activist who has done a lot. That's what you are hearing is what activists are doing and what they suggest you can do.
I worked my way to a blog and making videos in my protest years as letters protesting propaganda were just not being printed, so I had to find another way. I think just stating my beliefs from time to time in my blog and videos has proved to be the most effective in reaching people. I go back over my videos from time to time and see that they have always proved effective in getting people to watch. I have also watched a number of videos that have inspired me. I am going to embed the video I made again here as I have stated my case against legalized abortion. I will have more to report after I have listened to more of the web cast. The web cast will be available for some time for people to listen to in the future if they are unable to listen today. They made it an audio cast so it would be available to more people.


See EndingAbortion.com on my blog list.

Friday's News: green pool, great books, and headers

Don't you just love the jeweled broach header Connie sent? The new template allows the animation to show. She also made the graphic about the spirits. I love her boldness when it comes to my personality. Today is a good day to show this one and there will other times in the future, too. Tomorrow is the live web cast all day long Ending Abortion.com. (See my blog list) The spirits will be there for it is their dearest wish we end all forms of premature death on this earth. We had just got our life expectancy up until most families may go quite a few years before experiencing a death among their members. So why did we take the downward turn toward using death as a solution for a problem pregnancy? This is a primitive brutal solution in every sense of the word, and we also denigrated so many teachings that had been in place for years such as abstinence as the only sure way for teens to prevent pregnancy. We allowed some 'forward' thinkers to get the upper hand, but a violent solution is always a step backward in the end.
I also just got through reading probably one of the most compelling books of history I have ever read called Somme about the terrible fight England and other allies put up in France to take back Somme from the Germans in World War I. The book was written by Martin Gilbert, published in 2006. I was so stunned by the terrible slaughter of so many wonderful young men that I sent it off to my family to read. Anyone who reads this book is going to be that much more against war. I wish George Bush could have read this before he invaded Iraq. And to think the Kaiser was Queen Victoria's grandson, but his generals kind of over overrode all his objections to World War. They saw no reason they could not conquer all of Europe. Hitler even fought in this location, was wounded, and after healing, asked to be sent back to the front. I am sure that he thought when the time came he could do what had not been done as leader of the new Germany. He could conquer England as well as Russia! Thank God they proved to be his match, along with America in World War II.
But make so mistake, Germany started World War I.
I also finished Dreadnaught by Robert Massie which is a bigger and better battleship the navies started to build before World War I, only this book lumbered on for 900 pages. I was able to discuss this book with my navy veteran son who had heard of Admiral Fisher who so improved the English navy. I love a great historian. These guys are such workers. But I thank god for them, or we likely would not know a thing about the past.
I risked life and limb today to return books to the library and get more which will have to do me for some time. This trip in the blazing summer heat was a killer! I try to put off all journeys except those that are absolutely necessary until fall.
I was very disappointed to see a sign up saying the pool has to be closed over the weekend. It was slowly turning green, so it will have to be shocked. We have been instructed not to eat in the pool area as cigarette butts and food bits have been found in the filters! Always somebody to gum up the works.
I went into CVS Pharmacy and as usual was disgusted with all the black spots of gum on a fairly new piece of sidewalk in front of a busy bus station. Every time I look at American habits of disposing of their gum I think of Singapore where my navy son Dan went, saying it was the cleanest city he ever saw in his world travels, and if people throw their gum in the street they can be fined and jailed! Imagine! We have got so many slobs out of control we are gummed before we start. Do you throw your gum in the street? I don't. I don't even chew gum. But a heck of a lot of other people must.

See EndingAbortion.com live web cast Saturday!

You need to register before to see the web cast live, but if you cannot make it, you will still be able to access the web cast any time after. A number of topics are going to be discussed throughout the day. I got hope and inspiration from this last web cast of pro life activists from across the nation.

Federal Government and Obama to sue Arizona over SB1070

They say the law is against Federal guidelines in several places even though it was designed to enforce federal law against illegal immigration that has gone unforced for years. Arizonans sort of expected an adverse reaction so we are fairly prepared, but I hope this lawsuit does not try to extract money from us we do not have! Few columnists are of the opinion that congress is going to act on illegal immigration any time soon. So if they wait too long this might have an effect on the fall elections. Democrats in the state possibly worried about their chances of getting re-elected begged the Feds not to sue. Now what?
I talked to a woman in the doctor's office who was walking at such a slow pace I asked her what happened to her. She said that six months previously a car had come around the corner and plowed into people crossing. I said how come? She said the driver wasn't paying attention, and I extracted from her the information that this was an illegal driving with no license and no insurance. Her pelvis was broken in several places. She said that was the first time she had ever been hurt in a car accident and she had bill collectors threatening to sue her for medical costs, etc. I want to point out that when illegals come here they are probably going to only be able to get low paying jobs and so very often they do not have the money for insurance. If you are already breaking the law by entering the country illegally breaking more laws might not seem like such a big thing. People get cars whether they can afford the insurance or not.
So here in our state where law enforcement works so hard to insure that people do not drive uninsured or unlicensed, lawbreakers with illegal status are constantly bringing the numbers down. What does congress and the president say about that?
We are also reading that a dedicated officer of the law, Sheriff Babieu in Pinal County close to the border has been targeted by the drug cartels for assassination! I surely hope this threat is not carried out. Of course, I am sure that Sheriff Arpaio has been receiving death treats for years.
That is all I am going to say about illegal immigration today. Isn't that enough?

Off to the doctor I go!

In twenty minutes I am off to the doctor. I am finishing up a couple of appointments following up the cat scan I had to have last fall for a check on my kidneys. He said there was no cancer, but he wanted me to have another sonor gram to see what is there which he said would probably be a benign tumor they would just leave alone. I need to walk about three and a half blocks and back to the doctor and I expect the temperature to start going up and up. I am dressed in very thin clothes just in case!
I posted a photo of me in my pink bathing suit but I was still wearing glasses. Due to lack of energy due to a long talk I had the night before on the patio with a new resident, I did not get in the pool yesterday. I knew I had to take this walk today so decided to preserve energy. It is necessary to be very cautious walking anywhere in the first high temperatures of summer especially. Doc about had heat stroke the other day from walking in it. That was the day it reached 114 degrees. It was morning, but I told him he should not walk in it. He was buying a feast for the 4th of July so he could not be dissuaded. Even those of us who have dealt with the heat a long time can make mistakes!
I will post this now and add a post script if there is anything to add about my health.

P.S. Everything is okay! Next appt. late September.

Looking rather tattered, I emerged for the last day of our long holiday

Holidays this long are usually not as welcome to residents in a HUD complex as they are to the workers who need them to recuperate, especially if it is a paid holiday. I am going to try to swim today even if it is still a trifle cold for Phoenix in July (104 degrees). Our 110 regular summer weather has held off this year, which is not bad to take, but just not what we are used to! Except for that one scorching 114 degrees we have had unusually cool weather. It will be interesting to see what the rest of the summer brings.
Sat out in the patio late yesterday afternoon where it was very comfortable. I watched several residents cavorting in the water and chatted with two older residents, one of whom just moved in. I try to make my way down to the patio to talk to any of the still living out there before I resort to a spirit dialogue, if needed. I have always turned to spirit dialogues for comfort after becoming partially disabled. When one foot feels like it is in the other world, you are able to access those who have passed a good deal easier, although I always felt uneasy with their accessibility and still do.
I did get a chance to see Barbara, the widow of the man who just passed in here a couple of weeks ago. I gave her a hug and she told me he did not suffer. I came home and did a spirit dialogue connecting to my good friend Bob who passed a couple of years ago from having cosmetic surgery on his eyelids. He was a good friend of Clyde's and he assured me Clyde was happy to be in therapy to restore the use of his legs to him. In his case, it may take some time as he had gotten too heavy and his legs were shriveled. Bob joked he was never going to live down having passed to the other world from cosmetic surgery to make him look more attractive to the ladies. He apparently felt so good he was even out fixing computers laying on his back when the doctors told him he should be resting. The next thing he knew he was on life support. I will never forget how Clyde cried when he was told in my presence that Bob had died. He thought he was going to be okay. Everyone was shocked.
I used to play pool with Bob all the time who would have been the complex's best pool player if his eyelids had not drooped. When he was managing the computer room I used to go in and talk to him all the time. He was so easy to talk to. So we had a good chat.
I asked him how our mutual friend and my former neighbor Karen was who also passed not long after Bob. She died from a heart attack at around 52. She had her first heart attack and was the first one I ever heard of who got up out of ICU and left the hospital after having a heart attack. I told her anyone else would have been too terrified to do such a thing!
Too much damage had been done to her heart from diabetes which had not been diagnosed and she had another one. Her sister took her cat Freeway, her constant companion.

So you see in the Westward Ho there is a highway to the hereafter used quite often and there must be hundreds of ghosts of those who resided here coming to visit from time to time. I think you do return quite often to the last place where you spent many years of your life.
Some residents give little thought to a hereafter, but their conversations can get very limited if they do not think they have a future! As far as I am concerned, they concentrate too much on their aches and pains.
But I found it so difficult to find people to talk to and still do that I required visits from the spirits to keep going. Contrary to what you might think they want us to live a long active life and will do everything they can to help, including giving you pep talks if you think of faltering. I do think those who spend unhealthy hours contemplating suicide would benefit from talks about what they expect to gain by such a waste of life from any source, people here or spirits from beyond who must surely fly to the side of the afflicted ones who threaten to take their own lives when the going gets rough. They must feel really alone, when as far as I am concerned there are many to help lift their spirits if they had a little faith.

I have just been thinking from years of study of crime that those who are the victims are often thrown into years of dealing with the fallout, if they are not out right killed. If the perpetrators are named and arrested then the victims are likely to spend years waiting for trials, testifying, and recovering from what was done to them, and from being the publicized victim.
I tried to avoid this by never naming the molesters or talking about what was involved, but now I am finding myself going through that process when I finally decided to tell the whole story before I passed. I find there is no avoiding the fallout once you start to talk, or start to publicize your memoirs.
Which gets to be quite a disturbing process, but I think one of the main reasons you do it is to try to prevent future such crimes from happening. I have chosen to talk about the role my father played in my years of enforced silence just so men like him will feel warned. People keeping silent have always encouraged those who have trouble being honest to their wives and children.
Unfortunately I encountered similar attitudes as my father's at the University of Utah, which convinced me even more that I had to break the silence of so many women, sometimes just because they are too naive or too insecure with their own perceptions of what is hidden. My reactions to such very nearly got me killed in a psych ward where I was incarcerated by the University psychiatrist. This made it all the more imperative that I tell my side of the story.
It has taken me a lot of years to get to that point. I had to spend my depleted energy just staying alive first. But I could not wait too long either.
What has dismayed me about doing this is just going through the fallout. Exposing my point of view and indeed looking to publication for these memoirs. Right or wrong, I must get these memoirs out there. Even if I have to stay in exile the rest of my life.